1. You haven't been to the local shopping centre or Nando's in years, because you're so afraid of running into your parents' students.
2. Occasionally, their pupils have actually turned up at your house. Uninvited.
3. And come summer term, ultra-keen kids try to ruin your weekend lie-ins by insisting on extra tuition.
4. They've trumped you on Christmas cards and presents EVERY year.
5. They're your worst Facebook troll.
6. You can't bullshit someone who solely works with bullshitters.
I hate the fact that my mum is a teacher. She knows all the tricks in the book. I cant even lie and get away with it.
7. And because they spend all day hanging out with youths, they think they're down with the kids.
8. Their idea of organised fun is designed to make you competitive AF.
9. Your social cachet at school rose dramatically around exam time.
Ain't no party like a past papers party.
10. Your DVD collection is a library of set text adaptations.
11. All your notebooks are stolen school exercise books.
12. In fact, many of your possessions belong to various high school departments.
13. You probably played teachers when you were kids because taking registers was the dream.
14. You were bribed with promises of gold stars around exams...
15. And they had more overt bribing techniques designed to limit their own workload.
16. They use their terrifying teacher voice when you fuck up...
17. Or their angry teacher face.
18. They've always got a zillion red pens in their pockets when you need something to write with.
19. Everyone expects you to ace their subject.
20. But it's a special kind of hell when they also work in your school.
Drawbacks of your mum working at your secondary school is when your old teachers come to your house, Tomorrow it's my AS History teachers
Our prayers and thoughts go out to you, comrades.
21. You become an honorary member of the teachers' union.
i hate it when people say teachers are overpaid... my mum is a teacher and she works so fucking hard you bunch of pricks
Word.
22. You get all the goss on staff room scandal, most of which you never wanted to know.
23. There's just no escape from school and the horrors that come with it.
Love that my mum is a teacher but she really doesn't need to bring home the exam paper after every exam I do 😭😭
24. On the plus side, they own every revision and essay shortcut so you never suffered from coursework sweats.
25. They will continue to shit all over your academic attempts, even at university.
26. They will find ANY excuse to talk about school and teaching every day. Even when they've retired.
27. You become a terrible, pedantic person...like them.
28. Doing jack shit at the weekend just isn't permitted.
29. And if they're marking, everyone in the house has to live in silence.
30. Their jokes make your dad sound funny...
The kind of jokes you get when your mum is a science teacher: 'Did you know oxygen and magnesium are going out? OMg!'
...unless your dad's a teacher ofc.
31. And just remember that every teacher and every pupil in their school knows EVERYTHING about you.
