1. If you see this fire truck while walking home with your bae, you run for quick cover!
We all know whose fire truck this is! Run, run, run before Kimbo Slice catches you having a PDA!
2. You literally attend the most wealthy High School in the world, which is somehow still in a budgetary crisis
Let’s get real for a minute, with $11.5 billion, we should be able to afford some salt and blue juice in the cafeteria!
3. You know about Milton Hershey’s 6th finger
Okay, so when are they just going to say that Uncle Milt was smoking a fat Cuban? You gotta love the 1930’s Photoshop though
4. Having an un-tucked shirt at school made you a total bad-@$$!
Like anyone cares about SASI points anyway!
5. You’ve been listening to Kendrick for over 3 years
Call us rachet, but at least we know about that underground rap a quick minute before anyone else! Who is that Mackerel honkey to win the Grammy anyway?
6. Mealbus Babies
I don’t know about any baby stork, but there is a magical mealbus that delivers lifers right in front of Founder’s Hall. Hey, remember that one 8th grader years back who stole the mealbus? My personal hero!
7. The dreaded Trolley
So its all right for this strange woman to walk into Founder’s Hall all willy nilly during lunch, but if you are a visiting alum, you need to give a finger print test, background check, and stool sample before they even let you in the door. Maybe they are afraid that we might disturb the milts in their natural habitat
8. MLK Day
So let’s make all the students do community service in honor of MLK months before the holiday, and then not them them celebrate with a day off on the actual date. Who is that impersonator they have speak each year anyway?
9. Manipulative Mints
Yeah, uh, you have a level IV, you’re getting terminated, and your mother just died, but have this mint.
10. Ibuprofen and Ice
Here, honey, I see that you’ve been completely dismembered; I have the perfect panacea, Ibuprofen and Ice
11. There’s that one Light-Skinned/ Hispanic/ White girl that every dude says he been with
We all know that showdy baaad, but none of y’all got with her
12. Clockies/ Weird White People
They’ll be waiting for you everyday as you innocently walk to class, giving you dirty looks and munching on Bibles
13. Rachet Weave
Showdy baaaad, and her hair is all natural! Better not wear loops bigger than a quarter
14. Poptart Capitalism
They used to mean something else when they said they had “baked goods” for sale, but now they straight up mean they have some baked goods for sale! $2.50 a pack, I’d like to see you find another dealer in the locker room
15. WEIGHTS DOWN SLOW!!!
Teacher: “Hey there Tyrone, is there a fire alarm going off right now?” (looks around casually for that one light-skinned/ Hispanic/ White Girl)
Tyrone: (drops the weights): “Uh, I don’t think so.”
Teacher: “Well then, WEIGHTS DOWN SLOW!!!!!”
16. Alumni Relations
“How dare you kids complain about how Milton Hershey School? Back in my day, we had to milk cows, I got beaten everyday, and got bullied and harassed by all the boys! You young people have it too easy!”
17. Milt Parties
Not only do you almost get stabbed walking to the door, but inevitably the police are called, and everyone bounces
18. Free Food
Unless you can smoke it or eat it, Milts aren’t interested!
19. Chicken Nugget Day
Let’s get real, this is what the line looks like any day there is chicken for lunch
20. You think that TL is going to be Awesome, but you end up missing your student home after the first week
TL is literally the worst program to ever be orchestrated by MHS, well aside from Springboard, and maybe multi-age housing
21. You have no idea what’s going on, but you like this page because you know that MHS is corrupt
Alumni have been fighting about who knows what for decades. Can’t we all just get along?
22. They be this hype
School will not be cancelled today, and the bus will be there to pick up TL at 6:45 AM sharp