Totally get it. Many gay people feel like outcasts towards gay society. Whether it’s being overweight, not pretty enough, too awkward, not smart enough, too poor to date, too vanilla, too freaky, religious. There really is a plethora of insecurities that exist. Unfortunately you’ll never be able to change gay society, the only thing you can do is focus on improving yourself for yourself sake and to surround yourself with people who want the same things you do and challenge each other and support each other. Join a group that has a goal. We can blame gay society for making us feel like outcasts but then we are just saying that we are victims. Do things that make you happy and surround yourself with good people, that’s my best advice.