1. You wake up many times a night to go into another person’s room and sing a song.
The freakiest part? It’s always the same song.
2. You’ve become convinced that it’s your duty to brush other people’s teeth.
3. You regularly wait in long lines to meet adults dressed up in costumes.
4. You’ve stopped watching TV shows for adults and started to watch Sesame Street every day.
5. You’re no longer disturbed by the idea of having other people’s bodily fluids on you.
You’ve even wiped someone’s nose with your hand.
6. There’s been a disturbing increase in the amount of baby talk that escapes from your mouth.
7. You’ve become obsessed with whether people put their shoes away.
Seeing shoes left in the middle of a room is enough to send you flying into a rage.
8. Going into public with stains on your clothing has become a regular thing.
9. You watch the same movies (or listen to the same songs) over and over and over again.
The most concerning part of this? They’re all meant for children.
10. You say horrible things to people that they can’t unhear (and you don’t even realize they’re horrible).
11. TV commercials make you weep.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a commercial for a stupid box of cereal, if it’s got parents and kids in it you’re in trouble.
12. You’ve lost all ability to be embarrassed.
13. Not only that, but you take glee in embarrassing others as much as possible.
Your teenagers are most often the targets of this behavior.
14. You wake up at the crack of dawn on the weekends to watch children play sports.
Not only that, but you act like each game is the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl.
15. You believe that if someone simply lives under your roof you have dominion over all aspects of their life.
16. Homicidal thoughts have become increasingly common.
That old lady who snapped at your kid? The bully at school? The coach who cut your kid from the team? They’d better watch their backs.
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