1. Doing nothing when their kid misbehaves right in front of them.
2. Taking their 6-year-old to see an R-rated movie.
Just because it’s got a stuffed bear in it doesn’t make it OK.
3. Doing their kid’s science project entirely by themselves.
Congratulations on winning first prize at the science fair, sir! You must feel so good about besting all those 9-year-olds!
4. Getting drunk at the block party.
Oh joy. Now we’ve got to worry about watching our kid AND yours.
5. Making passive-aggressive social media updates.
Gee, I guess you really are the greatest mom of them all, Jennifer!
6. Getting their flirt on with your spouse.
Are you serious? I’m standing RIGHT HERE!
7. Inviting your kid to a birthday party at Disneyland but not paying for their ticket.
You really couldn’t think of a birthday party that didn’t involve me forking over $92?
8. Talking trash about you and your kid to other parents.
What is this? High school?
9. Not listening to the rules and sending their kid to school with candy to hand out on Valentine’s Day.
What part of “no candy” did you not understand?
10. Acting like a psychopath at their kid’s sporting events.
They’re 7-year-olds, so you might want to consider dialing it down, m’kay?
11. Coaching Little League and making their uncoordinated kid the shortstop and cleanup hitter.
And then naming him to the all-star team.
12. Giving unsolicited parenting advice.
Gee, can you please tell me why you think I’m parenting wrong?
13. Spouting off about a bunch of stuff you don’t agree with in front of your kid.
Keep it to yourself, professor.
14. Asking a dad who’s out alone with his kids if he’s “babysitting.”
Parenting, babysitting, whatever.
15. Telling a professional woman, “It must be hard being away from the kids all day and not feeling like a real mom.”
16. Bragging about how incredible their kids are without asking about yours.
17. Saying stuff like, “He’s just really bored in class because he’s so gifted.”
18. Letting their kid have ice cream after all of the other parents told their kids no.
Now every kid but theirs is throwing a tantrum. Suuuuuper.
19. Dropping their sick kid off at your house for a playdate.
Who wants to play a game of “Apply the Hand Sanitizer”?
20. Continuing to text when their kid gets hurt.
“Hold on, Timmy, I just need to type one last ‘LOL!’”