Hippest Resume You Have Ever Seen

And it’s not even from a TEEN! It’s from a DAD!! posted on

1. UPDATE

@michaelhayes" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/michaelhayes">@michaelhayes Mike hire me, I am willing to be martyred for buzzfeed

Following speculation that the social media editor is dead, Twitter pro Dad has offered to risk life and limb and lay down his life if necessary to become BuzzFeed’s new social shaman. This is bravery.

4. His follow-up questions have been impressive, too.

@michaelhayes" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/michaelhayes">@michaelhayes do you guys validate parking?

@michaelhayes" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/michaelhayes">@michaelhayes wow that is great news. Do you drug test? and is it okay if I leave early on thursdays to take my kid to Karate

7. Besides his resume being DYNAMITE, he’s also pretty real on Twitter.

i relate with the angry chef in Action movies that yells when the chase scene runs through his kitchen, he just wants to cook, no nonsense

Sex has absolutely nothing to do with love. I know this because I have never had sex with pizza

*dinner at a Mexican restaurant* "yes, ill take the enchiladas" "what kind of beans would you like " *camera zooms in, you smile* "jelly"

11. His references are strong.

@michaelhayes" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/michaelhayes">@michaelhayes @weird_dealer @nillawafers yes definitely, dude sent me stickers the other day i can vouch for his realness

@michaelhayes" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/michaelhayes">@michaelhayes @Dads_Secret" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/Dads_Secret">@Dads_Secret dad told me that if he doesn't get the job we will have to leave the suburbs me and dad live the suburbs

@michaelhayes" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/michaelhayes">@michaelhayes @drewmillard" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/drewmillard">@drewmillard @NillaWafers" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/NillaWafers">@NillaWafers aye fam you better high him damn

14. His kids vouch for dad.

15. Also, he said he’ll go cover Coachella this weekend, which nobody else wants to do.

16. Still vetting, but we’re close. Real close.

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