1.
You’re at your desk, minding your own business, when all of a sudden it hits you.
2.
Something isn’t sitting well with your stomach. Was it the burrito you had for lunch? Or was it that third cup of coffee?
3.
You try to be optimistic: Maybe you’ll get lucky, maybe no one will be in the bathroom.
4.
HAHA WHO ARE YOU KIDDING? OF COURSE THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THE BATHROOM.
5.
You play it cool, smile politely. “They’ll be out of here soon,” you reassure yourself.
6.
You settle into a stall. Sure you'll be patient, but your bowels, they wait for no one.
7.
Why aren't they leaving? What are they doing? Can’t they tell YOU'RE TRYING TO POOP HERE?
8.
The door opens and closes, you sigh in relief.
9.
Just before the big release, you hear a soft sniffle. You are not as alone as you thought you were.
10.
You decide to make your presence known. You shift your weight. You rattle the toilet paper dispenser. You blow your nose.
11.
"JUST GO. WHO CARES? EVERYONE POOPS," you cry silently. But your body refuses. You can’t do it.
12.
Finally your opponent flushes, a sad, loser flush. You've won the stalemate.
13.
They leave, and you’re alone at last. Within moments you unleash all that you’ve built up the past 10 minutes.
14.
Victory never smelled so bad.
15.
Several flushes later, and you're a new person.
16.
Hands washed, you rush to get out of there before someone comes in and smells what you’ve done to the place.
17.
You escape unnoticed, pat yourself on the back, and carry on with your life.
