1. Are you guys part of the UK?
What comes to mind is the Mean Girl quote “You can’t ask people why they’re white?” Similarly you can not, never, ever, ever under any circumstances ask an Irish person are they part of UK. Or Britain, or England.
The answer is No. But you won’t be told nicely. You will more than likely end up with a pint of beer over your head and an uppercut to the face. Please brush up on European geography before you visit, If only for your own sake
2. Are Leprechauns Real?
Please tell me you’re kidding. Surely you know the difference between real and imaginary. Surely you understand fables and fairytales. Oh you’re not joking………Okay…….
3. Why don’t you have red hair?
Not all Irish people have red hair. Have you never seen an Irish person before? What about all the Irish Comedians, Actors and Singers? You’ve surely seen them and they don’t all have red hair. Well besides the Gleesons
4. Do you know Bono?
This is like me asking an American do they know Bradley Cooper or Asking an Australian have they met Kylie. Personally, I have met Bono……..But that’s not really the point…….
5. Why do you charge so much for cigarettes?
Tax, it’s tax. I don’t personally charge for cigarettes or set the prices for them. It’s the Government I swear. Please stop shouting at me. That’ll be €9.40 please…………
6. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CANT SMOKE INSIDE?!?!
Please, Sir, Sir, Look at the sign, It says it’s illegal, It’s not at the discretion of management. It’s National Law. Our Smoking areas are practically indoors anyway so what’s the big deal.
7. Are you sure that’s how you pronounce your name?
Look, I get it we have the same first or surname and your ancestors are Irish. But I’ve grown up here my whole life and speak the language fluently so I’m pretty sure it’s O M-ah-oh-knee.
8. Why aren’t Plastic bags free?
Tax, plastic bags are bad for the environment, Please stop getting mad, I don’t personally charge for the bag……… look it’s 22c please just go away.
9. Have you ever heard of *Insert world famous person/product*?
OH COME ON! Please don’t ask if I’ve heard of Facebook or Heineken or Taylor Swift. Believe it or not we do have internet here. Well…..most of us do
10. What is Crack?
Ah well, you kinda have to be from here to get it. So in that sense it’s not a stupid question. But it is in the sense that it’s difficult to explain. Firstly you spell it Craic. And it sorta means fun or banter, or the “LOLS”.
For example if you’re out with friends and have an amazing, fun, crazy night you’d describe that night the next day as being. “Some Craic” or “Such Criac” or “Great Craic”. You kinda have to experience the Craic to understand it.