Why Philly Saved All of Humanity By Destroying HitchBOT
We'd love to publicly shame the destroyers of HitchBOT, but could, in fact, all of our lives have just been saved from a catastrophic robotic domination?
Not In My Backyard, HitchBOT
So it’s no secret that Philly doesn’t exactly stand up to the “City of Brotherly Love” pet name. We’ve even shown Santa what he can expect should our stockings be filled with coal. The side eye was most certainly perfected in our hometown. This one single expression constitutes our collective lifeblood.
So was I shocked when I heard the news of HitchBOT’s demise? Sadly, no. This is exactly the type of behavior I’ve come to expect from my fellow Philadelphians. A robot that relies on the kindness of strangers? Hoooo boy. By that description alone I would’ve assumed Philadelphia would have been immediately nixed from the roadmap. I suppose part of this robot’s adventure was not knowing where the road may lead… or taking the road less traveled… or life is a highway…there’s a lesson in here somewhere.
But then I really started thinking about the lack of details around HitchBOT’s kidnapping and disassembly. What if, what IF the individuals responsible for the retirement of HitchBOT were really ensuring the future of all of humanity? Sure, today it’s a cute little hitchhiking robot, but tomorrow…tomorrow could bring about your job replacement and soon after that, just when you’re at your lowest, you come home one day to find one of these things in bed with your spouse.
Ok yes, it’s possible I watch too many movies, but reality is catching up people! It’s time to start paying attention. In an age where people have become incredibly vocal and extremely public in what they will and will not tolerate, I implore you to consider what these noble, anonymous individuals did on your behalf. They were obviously not seeking recognition or reward, or of course they would have carried out this heroic act in a public forum. What they did do though, is send a message, loud and clear, that unattended, roaming robots won’t be tolerated in our town. Not in my backyard, HitchBOT.
In a post from the HitchBot family, they stated, “For now we will focus on the question “what can be learned from this?” and explore future adventures for robots and humans.” Well, lots can be learned, amiright? For one, don’t send an unattended robot into Philadelphia without a self-defense program. Those flimsy little pool noodles aren’t going to hold up in a street fight. Secondly, HitchBOT just won the internet with the news of its demise. You just learned that you can’t pay for this level of publicity…which begs the question – how do we know this wasn’t an inside job? Send the bot to Philly. That’s the perfect spot to orchestrate a devastating loss. I know I said earlier I wasn’t surprised at the news, but maybe that’s exactly the point!
Bottom line, they did us all a favor. Robotics and artificial intelligence will be marketed in just this type of unassuming way. Hey – here’s something to vacuum your floors without you so you can continue on with your Netflix marathon and your peaceful protest of the traditional convention of putting on pants. Meanwhile, it’s probably listening to your conversations, judging your life decisions, learning your weaknesses, and slowly architecting your arch nemesis – which by the way could absolutely come in the form of a hitchhiking robot. Just sayin.
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