MelanoticDiva

Allowing Yourself Time To Heal After A Breakup

So right now I am extremely happy and it happens to be because I am in a healthy relationship. And I know sometimes people like to say that a relationship should not define your mood but those people are extremely jaded to me. If someone outside or at work can upset you or make you smile then that person has access to your feelings and your mood. So if a person on the outside can have access to that then why shouldn’t the person your dating, sleeping with etc have the same if not more access to your mood? Always baffled me, but anyway I am in a extremely happy place relationship wise and thats a little new to me. Seeing how normal this relationship feels and also seeing how easy and non problematic this experience has been so far is refreshing. A lot of the times in your quest to change someone into someone worthy of you, you guys argue, fight, yell and it becomes a part time job trying to make it work. I didn’t realize how draining and time consuming it was until I no longer had to do it i.e. with my current lover/partner/friend. After my previous break up I refrained from sex and relationships for two years prior to entering into my relationship now with my boyfriend. And what that two years gave me was time to heal, time to date and see what I liked and didn’t like, time to be by myself and be strong by myself and also time to grow as a person. It is extremely rewarding when you decide to wait for the right circumstance instead of entering into the wrong circumstance and trying to make it right later. Self preservation is not a myth, not only is it real but it is essential. Essential for your mind your spirit and your sanity. Had I not taken two years to be alone or had I met my boyfriend two years ago after my break up I would have been no good to him. I would have been weak and in defense mode because thats what a breakup does, it puts you in survival mode and you turn into a different person. Allow yourself the time to heal from that and get to know yourself again, the person you were before you started dating your ex and grow to love that person again because a breakup can make you hate yourself. It can make you hate who you have become while trying to fix things and it can seriously pollute your mind with negative thoughts. I thank God for those two years of prep time, and I used that time wisely. I wanted to make sure I was entering into something solid and real before I decided to take that leap of faith. When you have two years alone you have time to connect with yourself and the world around you on a serious level. You can honestly manifest your feelings because of how spiritual you have become with the universe, with your body’s energy and with your mind. If you are truly in search of happiness after a break-up allow yourself time, allow yourself that quiet, that peace and walk alone on that journey to get in tune with yourself again so when something genuine does come your not damaged.