7 Best Chick Tracts To Read This Halloween

There’s a Chick Tract for every occasion and every holiday, but the ones for Halloween and the occult are, by far, the best. So grab some apple cider and some mini Snickers and sit back and enjoy. And Happy Halloween!

1. DARK DUNGEONS

A perennial favorite, especially among gamers, not just for the iconic “NOOOOO, NOT BLACK LEAF!” but also because of their surprise at discovering they’ve been unknowingly auditioning for a place in an evil witch coven all these years.

Poor Black Leaf. The die was literally quite cast.

I wonder which one is the Dungeon Master.

2. THE TRICK

A look at the historical origins of Halloween as only Jack Chick can do history, as well as being a warning about what modern-day Druids are up to October 31, as they prepare for blood sacrifices to their Death God Samhain (which was a festival and not a god).

Why are the writers educating readers on how to be evil Druids???

At least it’s not candy corn.

3. THE DEVIL’S NIGHT

A cautionary tale for children about the dangers of Halloween, made even more enjoyable by the reappearance of evil Ms. Henn (notice she’s single, and possibly a lesbian) and angelic Susy, who also both starred in, “Apes, Lies & Ms. Henn.”

Yet more Druidic history. Susy is a bit of a prig, isn’t she? And does she know her little friend is named after a Vampire Slayer?

Except this time the poor Jack-o-lantern is pulled into the evilness!

4. SATAN COMES TO SALEM

A fascinating look at a slice of United States Colonial history, that’s mainly a swipe at those bloodthirsty and Pagan Roman Catholics.

To be fair, the basic timeline of what happened in Salem and the surrounding communities is oddly accurate for a Chick Tract.

But is then ruined by the sudden revelation of the thesis of the tract.

5. BOO!

Worth reading just for the sight of the evil Pumpkinhead Demon, who is either Satan or the never-existed Celtic Death God Samhain acting as Satan’s emissary at an evil Halloween party held at camp Basil Bub (for real). This point is a bit confusing.

The Pumpkinhead Demon is kinda badass, with the whole chainsaw thing and not wanting a cat to be sacrificed.

Okay, I guess it is Satan.

6. FIRST BITE

Even Jack Chick jumped on the vampire bandwagon with this story about “Igor,” the Vampire Chosen One sent to destroy the World.

Apparently the Chick writers didn’t know Faith was the Evil Rogue Slayer on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

Okay, maybe they DID watch “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” Shades of Angel and Spike with the whole vampire redemption thing. And still better than “Twilight.”

7. CRAZY WOLF

Said to be based on an Indian folk story. There are no words.

The whole Washington Redskins thing isn’t looking quite so bad right now.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

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