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1. You have an aversion to white socks
2. You know the location of every meth lab in the county
3. You've invented your own deer fly trap
4. You've had at least one run-in with a snake
5. A bear
6. A feral pig
7. A rabid raccoon
8. A banjo player
9. You know that feeling when you suddenly realize the color of the blazes have changed, but you don't know when they did
10. At least one person in your circle has a story that starts off, "That time I kinda got struck by lightning..."
11. You can pee standing up -- and you're female
12. You fly gracefully through the air after a bad toe-catch on a root
13. You can do distance meteric conversions quickly in your head -- and you're American
14. You have long discussions about the merits of sticky rubber, and aren't talking about sex
15. You love mud
16. Running in extreme and adverse weather conditions is just plain old fun
17. You've stripped to your birthday suit standing in snow on the shoulder of a logging road
18. You've shared berries with bunnies
19. You know the secret to killing chiggers
20. You know there is no secret to killing ticks
21. You eat beans and rice half the month so you can buy more shoes
22. You've read "Born to Run" and have a strong opinion about it
23. You know who the real Zombies are
24. And that Dirty Girl Gaiters aren't lingerie
25. You think the Western States 100 webcast is more exciting than the Super Bowl
26. You're caught between mocking Hokas and kinda wanting a pair
27. You're caught between mocking Merrell's Trail Gloves and kinda wanting a pair
28. You finish long runs with blood trickling from at least one place on your body
29. Your significant other has banned your trail shoes from the house
30. You hose yourself off before going inside
31. You gave up trying to keep your car clean years ago
32. You know what a Horton Mile is
33. You carry bypass pruners in your hydration pack
34. You know the capacity of a hydration pack is just a suggestion, like Italian speed limits
35. Eating food covered in blood and dirt and sweat is normal
36. You've run on a trail at night at least once
37. You see an empty gel pack littering the trail and immediately think, ROAD RUNNER!
38. You know the joy of jumping into a cool river or lake after a hot summer run
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