25 Things Non-Runners Don’t Get About Runners

What makes intelligent and rational people become runners? And will non-runners ever understand them? Should they even try?

1. Why does anyone need more than one pair of running shoes?

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2. Chia seeds.

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3. Almost coming to blows over “Born to Run.”

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4. Rolling out of a warm bed to run in the snow.

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5. And the rain.

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6. And liking it so much you make motivational posters about it.

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7. Driving two hours at 5 a.m. to run 13.1 miles in sleet for nothing but free bagels and a cheap T-shirt.

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Starbucks has bagels, and is warm.

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8. Monitoring your urine — ewww.

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9. And showing off your black toenails — double ewww.

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10. Posting running shoe selfies on Facebook and Twitter.

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11. Running through the woods with water strapped to your back.

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12. Calling this running.

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13. Not being able to answer a question about running shoes in 500 words or less.

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14. Training when you know you won’t win.

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15. And being more than OK with that.

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16. Snot rockets.

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17. Fighting over gel shot flavors — whatever gel shots are.

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18. Runner’s tan.

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19. Runner’s trots — just ewww.

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20. Planning vacations so you can try out a new running trail.

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21. Continuing running after a doctor says you probably should take a week or two off.

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22. And other runners not seeing what’s the big deal.

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23. Critiquing actors’ running forms in movies.

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24. Continuously adding to their collection of running books.

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25. And, after all this, runners thinking non-runners are the odd ones.

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