10 STD Names And What They Actually Sound Like

If you don't know what these ten sexually transmitted diseases are, this is what you might think of when you hear their names. While STDs are serious, this post is not.

1. Chlamydia

Chlamydia sounds like a flower, like a cousin to the lovely Chrysanthemum flower. But it's not lovely at all-- It's an STD that is typically asymptomatic, but can result in symptoms like burning urination and itching down there. Ouchies.

2. Gonorrhea

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Gonorrhea sounds like a condition that causes someone to die of diarrhea. "He's a goner! Died of diarrhea." In actuality, gonorrhea is a very curable STD that can infect both men and women. It's also called "The Clap" or "The Drip," great visuals, right?

3. Chancroid

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Chancroid sounds like a type of rage that Hispanic mothers go into that causes them to start throwing chanclas. Realistically, it is a sexually transmitted disease that causes a small bump on the genitals that turns into an ulcer within a day or so. Seriously, look out for those flip flops and for STDs!

4. Molluscum Contagiosum

Molluscum Contagiosum sounds like a spell straight out of Harry Potter. I can hear Professor Flitwick saying it now!

In adults, Molluscum Contagiosum can be considered an STI that causes raised bumps on the genitals, lower abdomen, upper inner thighs and butt.

5. Scabies

Scabies sound like a mutant form of scarabs with rabies. ...Which isn’t too far off considering they are actually tiny parasitic mites that cause intense itching. THEY BURROW INTO YOUR SKIN. LIKE STRAIGHT OUT OF “THE MUMMY!” Not okay.

6. Trichomoniasis

Trichomoniasis sounds like a threesome of maniacal monocle-wearing individuals. A threesome is just one way to get it-- It is actually the most common curable STI, with over 7 million new cases occurring each year. It is caused by a parasitic bacterium and leads to discharge, itching, burning down below, and painful urination.

7. Syphilis

Syphilis sounds like Physalis, which are herbaceous plants that are similar to the common tomato. Syphilis is a bacterial infection usually spread by sexual contact. The disease starts as a painless sore that is usually on the genitals, rectum or mouth. Sorry if I ruined physalis-type fruits/veggies for you forever.

8. Herpes

Herpes sounds kind of like “hairpiece,” or if said in a French accent: ‘air-pays,’ which is equally as comical. Aren't these men fabulous?! Herpes is an STD caused by two types of viruses: Herpes simplex type 1 and herpes simplex type 2, essentially oral and genital herpes. They cause blisters and sores.

9. Hepatitis A, B, and C

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Hepatitis A, B, and C sound like they could be vitamins or part of a muscle group. Hepatitis A spreads via fecal-oral contact. Hepatitis B has been found in vaginal secretions, saliva and semen. Hepatitis C is spread through contact with an infected person’s blood. Go get tested, there are private options available like STDcheck.com.

10. Human Papillomavirus (HPV)

Human Papillomavirus sounds like a virus that humans can get from adorable little Papillons. Silly pups! HPV is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the U.S. In most cases, it goes away on its own and doesn't cause any health problems, but when HPV doesn't go away, it can cause health issues like genital warts and cervical cancer.