1. Let’s be serious. Chances are you grew up outside the perimeter.
Roswell, Norcross, Marietta, Alpharetta, East Cobb, but you ALWAYS tell people you’re from Atlanta so they don’t think you’re a redneck.
2. What’s more annoying than Shane’s voice from the Shane Co. radio commercial, you ask?
You know every word to this commercial whether you like it or not. In fact, it’s the only reason you know that Morrow is even a place.
3. If you would like a soft drink you ask for a Coke. Not soda, not pop (silly yankees). A Coke.
Pepsi is not an option. That’s a good way to lose a finger… or a hand (cough cough…).
4. Chick-fil-A and Waffle House (aka Waho) are the finest culinary connoisseurs of fast food throughout the land.
5. Progression of an Atlanta sports fan’s reactions throughout any given season.
The Braves, Falcons, and Hawks — Those are your teams. And sometimes they make you wish they weren’t.
6. And then there are Thrashers fans…
(their fan experience in a nutshell)
7. Tyler Perry and Ted Turner basically own your city.
Atlanta — it’s the Hollywood of the South.
8. You know that “Spaghetti Junction” is not something you order off the menu at Olive Garden.
9. If there’s even a chance it’s going to snow, you do not run, you do not walk, you flock to a grocery store.
I’ve gotten snow days for less than one-fourth of an inch of snow. The city has actually shut down for six days because we have all of four snow plows. Suck on that, Yankees!
10. You’ve spent more time at the CNN Center than actually watching CNN.
11. You’d seriously consider pulling a “between a rock and a hard place” rather than sitting on 285, 85, 75, or 400 during rush hour.
12. When people from other states complain about pollen and allergies, this is your reaction:
Aww that’s cute.
14. When taking tourists and out-of-town guests to the “sights” you ask for a side of hotdog with your grease from The Varsity.
…but you love it anyway
15. Q100 and Star94 are your top 40 radio spots and 101.5’s got your country music covered, but you still miss 95.5 the Beat.
16. If you’re able to tell apart all the different “Peachtree” roads, you’re one of us.
17. You’ve been harassed by at least one gem of a human being on MARTA.
In fact, you’d take it more often, but you like living.
18. If you want to play “Spot the Hipster” just take a drive through Little Five.
THEY ARE EVERYWHERE.
19. It’s called “HotLanta” for a reason.
If the temperature drops below 90 in the summer, weather experts refer to that as a miracle.
20. Saying you’ve climbed Stone Mountain.
Even though you totally took the tram… both ways.
21. You know that “Chattahoochee” is not a dirty word. Neither is “Shooting the Hootch,” even though it sounds that way.
You can also properly pronounce DeKalb, Dahlonega, Smyrna, Valdosta, and Okefenokee.
22. You’re fully aware that the King and Queen Towers are not just skyscrapers, they’re landmarks.
23. When anyone mentions Michael Vick…
24. …and when outsiders continue to associate him with the Falcons.
25. Monica Pearson, Glenn Burns, or any of the other WSBTV anchors have interrupted your television programming. Most likely for a tornado or a shooting.
Damn you, Brad Nitz.
26. When outsiders ask if you know the Real Housewives of Atlanta…
27. Above the Mason Dixon Line when you ask for sweet tea: “So you want unsweetened tea with splenda?” NOPE. NO. I DO NOT.
28. You remember this gem.
IZZY!!! And, um yea, we hosted the 1996 Olympics… nbd.
29. Having the busiest airport in the world, you know you need to arrive no less than two hours early.
The Plane Train taught me that “A is for Alpha and C is for Charlie.”