Why 30 Is Not The New 20

If you’ve been banking on the fact that your twenties are a time for dating duds and dancing on tables, clinical psychologist Meg Jay says, think again. So, how should you be spending your “defining decade?”

In a recent TED talk, clinical psychologist and author of “The Defining Decade,” Meg Jay, urged twentysomethings to stop killing time and start claiming their twenties.

Jay has three pieces of advice to give the 50 million twentysomethings the kick in the butt some of us so desperately need…

1. “Forget about having an identity crisis and start getting some identity capital.”- Aka, add value to who you are and invest in who you want to be next. Take the internship, apply for the job out of state, and live with purpose. Don’t do things that “don’t count.”

2. “The Urban Tribe is overrated.”- Say what? That’s right, it’s time to expand your network and stop huddling with other twentysomethings who think the way you think, speak the way you speak, and know what you know- you’re limiting yourself. New opportunities come from “weak ties”- friends of friends of friends.

3. “The time to start picking your family is now.”- Yes, it’s time to ditch the douchebag you’ve been sleeping with for months, but who refuses to take you out to dinner. You’ve probably heard the saying, “you can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends.” Not true. You can pick your family- it’s called your spouse. So love with intention and don’t just kill time with whoever happens to be choosing you.

Key take-aways:

“Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do. You’re deciding your life right now.”

Leonard Berstein said, “To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time.” But if you’re sitting here two hours into you’re daily Buzzfeed binge and you’re thinking, I have more than enough time, great things will come later- think again. Life is unpredictable, so act now. Don’t procrastinate. Don’t be complacent. Don’t leave things for your future self to decide. Claim your adulthood.

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