Australia has a really bad reputation when it comes to our wildlife. And sure, literally everything here wants to kill you...
Which VERY WELL MIGHT BE TRUE, but Brazil, we need to talk.
Sure Australia may have a few sharks here and there...
But have y'all seen the arapaima? A native of the Amazon, they can reach lengths of UP TO THREE METRES LONG.
And while their fish can grow big, they also grow something else... TEETH.
You don't have to only fear the big fish though - the candiru is rumoured to be that pesky little catfish that has a habit of SWIMMING UP YOUR URETHRA.
SERIOUSLY BRAZIL YOU ALL SEEM SO NICE ON TWITTER, BUT WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH YOUR AQUATIC LIFE???
There's also the Pacu - a fish that has little teeth it uses to eat mainly nuts and berries. Unless of course it sees something that looks like nuts...
So I bet you're thinking, "yeah but what about Australia's crocodiles?" Have you ever heard of the black caiman?
THAT DOESN'T STOP IT GETTING FUCKED UP BY A JAGUAR THO.
Also us Aussies get a lot of shit for our spiders...
...but the Brazilian wandering spider has something to say about that.
THIS SPIDER IS QUITE LITERALLY A BONER KILL.
Brazil, you are beautiful and crazy but you are full of things I don't even understand, and everything wants to rip my dick off.
So how come Australia is the one with this reputation of being the land of insane, deadly animals?!
