1. We're back to Sam being emotional and staring out at the ocean. Shit is getting real.
2. Wait is this footage from the first episode? She's been on this beach for weeks.
3. I am so ready to meet the in-laws (SASH'S FAMILY).
4. Buuut we're starting in Brisbane with Michael. Drink every time Michael says "Brisbane".
5. Oh god they're at a soccer field. Of course.
6. She's SO happy to see him. Whoa.
7. How long has it been since they've seen each other?!
8. Isn't it telling that when Sash gave Sam a gift it was all about her fave things and this is the second time Michael has given her something that's all about him.
9. Not that I'm biased or anything.
10. (#TeamSash.)
11. "He knew four was my favourite number." My favourite number is the takeaway thai place near my house.
12. "Oh you're quite sexy aren't you." SAM NO, DON'T FALL FOR HIS VERY TONED BODY.
13. SO TONED.
14. Omg. She is totally trolling him. She is going to nail this.
15. YEP SHE'S SMASHING THOSE GOALS.
16. OK Judging from this Michael is… not that great at soccer.
17. Or dates.
18. That leap had all the makings for a sexy kiss but it just felt awkward.
19. Now he's taking her on a boat. Imagine if Tony just showed up like "Hey guys, I've been on this boat the whole time."
20. Poor Tony. :(
21. Sam's nail polish is stunning btw.
22. Every time Sam kisses someone who isn't Sash it honestly upsets me so much.
23. (If he doesn't win I'm literally going to lose all faith in humanity I swear.)
24. Meanwhile they have hardly touched that cheese platter.
25. Oh he lives ACROSS THE ROAD from his parents?
26. My mum would love that. I would not.
27. "I'm always thirsty." SAME, SAM! On so many levels.
28. LOL Michael's dad saying "I've seen thousands of photos of you. THOUSANDS." Chill.
29. Is he having a crack?
30. HIS NAME IS ALSO DAVID IT'S AN EPIDEMIC.
31. He's so intense.
32. Ugh this is going actually really well?
33. Sam is so composed. She is handling this so well.
34. If someone was grilling me about my intentions with their son I'd be like "uhhh tacos???"
35. But like damn if she thought she wasn't good enough for Michael what a load of BS.
36. Aw he wrote "I <3 Sam" on his hand. I guess that's cute.
37. OK Alex time. Sorry to say but I don't feel like he has long left in the competition…
38. Unless his home visit goes SUPER well. But I just don't see it.
39. Wow she greeted him the same way she greeted Michael! Like, exactly. Isn't that interesting.
40. OMG I love Sam's necklace.
41. Wait, she doesn't have to meet any of his family or friends?? That seems weird.
So Alex just scored himself a single date by default?
42. "Rip some waves as the cool kids say." Oh Sam. Never change.
43. That water looks so cold eek.
44. Sam is much better at soccer than she is at surfing.
45. But TBH I would have probably hit my face on the board before even getting in the ocean.
46. OH SNAP. They're bringing his sister over after all! PLOT TWIST.
47. Sam does not look happy about this at all.
48. I'd be pissed too, to have it sprung on me like this.
49. "It's really crucial Sam makes a good impression…" Shouldn't it be crucial that your sister makes a good impression too tho???
50. I feel like the Coyote Ugly bartender when Alex's sister just asked for water.
51. "DO WE SERVE WATER AT THIS BAR???"
52. "HELL NO H2O."
53. Alex's sister is this emoji:🙅.
54. She's literally not breaking eye contact. She's just like EYES EYES EYES.
55. They're talking about age difference but that didn't come up with Michael?
56. Also lol at Sam not wanting to date guys her own age. HOW DID DAVEY LAST SO LONG?!
57. God, Sam handles herself SO WELL under this immense pressure.
58. And after all that Helen was impressed. SHE SHOULD BE.
59. Oh god Perth time. I very much love Richie.
60. Richie is the best ad for Western Australia to ever exist.
61. At least he counteracts certain other Bachelors from Perth. YOU KNOW WHO.
62. Omg Sam just said "I've got a massive Richie crush." SAME THO.
63. When Sash wins this show, Richie should become the next Bachelor.
64. AW. He referred to her as a girlfriend and I swooned a little.
65. HE JUST SAID COOL STICKS THIS GUY.
66. Wait. Was there whole date just a walk?
67. Wow. There are so many people at this BBQ.
68. So intense. Like six people all bursting with questions, and Richie just sitting there watching Sam nail every answer.
69. Like. His mates are not here for this at all.
70. Oh the Blake question. Sigh.
71. She just basically said Blake was garbage. Lol.
72. Have I mentioned how well I think Sam does under all this pressure?
73. Seriously. SO WELL.
74. OK real talk, Richie's mum is so lovely.
75. HANG ON.
76. THAT WAS SUCH A DUD KISS GOODBYE?
77. Oh god. Richie.
78. I love you. But I don't think you're going to win this.
79. SASH DATE. SASH DATE. SASH DATE.
80. "It's just me and him and nothing else matters." MY HEART EXPLODED
81. THIS SERIES OF FLASHBACKS THO. Everyone else got like one flashback. This is like 30 minutes of pure Sam/Sash magic.
82. WITH EXTRA ROMANTIC MUSIC.
83. THE PRODUCERS SHIP THIS
84. WE SHIP THIS.
85. THIS IS MEANT TO BE.
86. Bowral is so pretty. They are so pretty. Uhhhh this is all too much.
87. And like. He's totally planned the date FOR her. Unlike some people. *Cough.*
88. "It's time for me to look after her." I might cry.
89. She's sliiiiiiding right in. GET IT SAM.
90. Some man just casually singing to them. This is romatic AF.
91. NAILED IT SASH.
92. OMG ARE THEY GONNA DANCE?
93. BECAUSE THEIR FIRST DATE WAS A DANCE???
94. I HAVE GOOSEBUMPS.
95. UNFUNFUNFUNFUNNFUNFUFNUNNFUNFUNFUNUFNFUNFFFFFF.
96. I'M NOT OK
97. I LOVE THEM.
98. "In Sash's arms I felt so safe and loved and exactly where I'm supposed to be." GUYS. THIS IS IT. IT'S OVER. WRAP IT UP.
99. But don't because like I want to watch them dance and hug and make out forever.
100. "You don't have to be afraid of your biggest fear." I AM ACTUALLY CRYING.
101. OH MY GOD.
102. HE SAID HE'S FALLING IN LOVE WITH HER.
103. OH MY GOD.
104. UNFUNFUNUNUFNFFF. I'M DEAD.
105. RIP me.
106. I am a ghost now.
107. A sobbing, messy, happy AF ghost.
108. Fuck they're hot.
109. This is so perfect.
110. They could totally get married in Bowral, how beautiful.
111. SAM'S SO NERVOUS TO MEET SASH'S FAMILY. BECAUSE THIS IS THE REAL DEAL.
112. Sash just told his family he's falling for her. THIS IS SO FUCKING REAL.
113. When Sam said she likes literally everything about Sash it brought me back to life.
114. And then when he kissed her on the lips in front of his family it killed me all over again.
115. Oh Sash's family is lovely.
116. "He's supposed to be in my life." Yes. 👏 Yes. 👏 Yes. 👏
117. Oh she's being asked about Blake again. Poor Sam.
118. "I don't want it to define me." YES PLEASE CAN WE MOVE ON FROM THIS.
119. OMG Sash's family actually totally love her tho. They're all so cute. It's all so perfect.
120. Honestly. If Sash doesn't win it will make me question my whole damn existence because apparently I don't know anything.
121. But it's OK because I am like 100% sure I am right about this.
122. "From start to finish it has been perfect." - Sam about this date? Or about SASH IN GENERAL.
123. THEY DON'T WANNA SAY GOODBYE.
124. Hey Sam, where's your jacket tho?
125. She's totally going back for it later. 😏
126. Alex is definitely going tonight. Out of all of them she is into him the least, I think.
127. "Two guys stood out and two left doubt." OK. Sash is definitely top two and now I just can't decide if Richie or Michael will be with him.
128. I think it will probably be Michael.
129. Well. Michael gets first rose tonight.
130. YAAAASS SASH. <3
131. Sam is so upset to be sending someone home, bless her.
132. It's definitely Alex.
133. Yep. Bye Alex.
134. He seemed nice and all but the chemistry was just not there.
135. Aw Sam never wants to let anyone go without reassuring them that they're good guys and that's so much more about her character than theirs tbh.
136. Only two episode to go, this is crazy.
137. BUT UGHH I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE SASH AND SAM DRIVE OFF INTO THE SUNSET LIKE THE END CREDITS OF GREASE.
