Top 7 Reasons My Work Wife Is Going To Divorce Me On Her Birthday

I’m usually a pretty bad work husband, but I’m especially bad on wifey’s birthday.

7. This picture of her going to an imaginary camp called Candy Mountain

She’ll probably spit in my coffee for posting this one.

6. This picture of her showing the camera how she french kisses

“Just stick your tongue out like thithhhhh,” is what she’ll say as she’s stapling my tongue to the desk.

5. This picture of her trying to steal birthday wishes

“Come closer,” is what she’ll say as she reaches out to punch me in the neck like that woman in Identity Thief.

4. This picture of her with a giant bunny

“Take a picture of me with Mr. Fuzzy Wuzzy” is what she’ll say as she’s shaving my head with a ball point pen cap.

3. This picture of her at low tea

“Girrrrrrl, get your elbows off the table!” is what she’ll tell me as I’m reaching for higher ground, avoiding her neon Alexis Bittar bag smashing into my face.

2. This picture of her singing her heart out

“One o’clock, two o’clock, three o’clock, rock!” is what she’s going to say as she’s bashing my head into the copy machine.

1. This halloween picture of her going as, “Me as an adult”

This one takes the cake. Happy Birthday, Wifey! I’ll try as hard to keep this anonymous as you tried putting on your makeup here

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