1. To start: Always be sure your audience is so bewildered by your personality, they’ll never anticipate your next move…
Good. Very good. Very bewildering. Now let Tyra teach you her ways…
2. First off, the SMIZE is the most important weapon in your arsenal. NEVER FORGET: Smile with your ~eyes~
3. If the smize isn’t enough, freely employ “the smooch.” Sitting in front of well-arranged fruit accentuates this look.
4. Always act bewildered by yourself. If *you’re* mystified… so is everyone else.
5. Your tongue is often your best accessory. Use seductively, and with vigor.
6. The rapid flick of your tongue is best accompanied by the the aggressive rubbing of your breasts.
7. Act with full control of your face, even when you have no actual control of your face.
11. Your emotions should seem 100% genuine and not at all fake or staged. BE REAL.
12. You can never duck-face too hard. You can never say “swag” too often.
13. Experiment with wardrobe. No look is too outrageous for Trya.
15. Inspiration may pour over you at any minute. Let it happen. Let it consume you.
16. Exercise a healthy contempt for other humans, as they will never be as beautiful or powerful as you.
19. Let your emotions flow through your face without any semblance of thought or control.
23. If people don’t believe you’re insane, you’re NOT doing it right…
24. Use dance as a way of expressing the depths of your personality.
25. When you require sustenance, ingest food as a vacuum consumes its prey.
27. When necessary, abandon all conventional human behavior and embrace your animalistic tendencies.
Here Are Today's Top Stories
- [A Harris County, Texas, sheriff's deputy was ambushed Friday night when a man walked up and repeatedly shot him from behind. ›] (http://www.buzzfeed.com/jimdalrympleii/sheriffs-deputy-shot-dead-in-ambush-at-texas-gas-station)
- [Dominica Prime Minister Roosevelt Skerrit said that Tropical Storm Erika killed 20 people there, and set the island back 20 years from the damage. ›] (http://www.buzzfeed.com/stephaniemcneal/at-least-5-people-are-missing-after-tropical-storm-erika-thr)
- [Police are investigating the death of Jamycheal Mitchell, who was arrested months ago in Virginia for allegedly stealing about $5 worth of groceries. He was found dead in his jail cell last week. ›] (http://www.buzzfeed.com/jimdalrympleii/black-man-held-for-months-for-stealing-5-worth-of-snacks-fou)