37 Things Beyoncé Has Apparently Been Doing Instead Of Releasing A New Album

    We're waiting, Beyoncé. WE'RE WAITING.

    1. Shopping for Batman masks at Target.

    2. Buying a treat from an ice cream truck while wearing a balloon hat.

    3. Being blessed.

    4. Lying in a small patch of grass, pondering how long she can make us wait.

    5. Leaning sensually against this car in Americana short shorts.

    6. Teaching Blue Ivy to twerk.

    7. Posing in high heels next to a hot dog cart.

    8. Riding a bicycle with a giant dotted bow tie atop her glistening weave.

    9. Exiting this airplane mid-flight to take a stroll on the wing.

    10. Buying candy from a tiny store and wearing sunglasses indoors.

    11. Pondering beating this screaming man with a large bat made of money.

    12. Riding roller coasters.

    13. Powering the infrastructure of Instagram.

    14. Uploading pictures of Blue Ivy's giant big toe.

    15. Sitting sensually on the edge of a boat.

    16. Lying on a set of stairs, wondering how her life became this.

    17. Standing up on those stairs in her clear white dress, and rising along them, slowly, foot by foot, giving them the strength they require to support all who climb them.

    18. Lying on a couch in an animal print onesie.

    19. Standing next to this wall of rock.

    20. Standing on this beach with an adult beverage.

    21. Posing with this Brazilian flag heart-shaped rug.

    22. Leaning against the side of this yacht.

    23. Sitting in this boat, chuckling to herself maniacally.

    24. Standing in an elevator.

    25. Posing next to this old taxi.

    26. Riding this tiny motor bike.

    27. Putting her sunglasses on and setting her bag down and leaning against this wall.

    28. Swimming.

    29. Being on a boat.

    30. Sitting down.

    31. Posing next to graffiti.

    32. Standing next to this little motor bike.

    33. Taking Beyoncé shots.

    34. Leading the children of Cuba to freedom and democracy.

    35. Cutting off her hair in an attempt to distract us from the lack of an album.

    36. Bending space and time.

    37. And sitting in a chair in the sun, with her legs crossed, judging us basic bitches for our impatience.