29 Reasons You Might Actually Be Squidward

Do you hate work and life and everyone and everything around you? You just found a friend.

1. Nobody appreciates your abundant skill and artistry.

2. You really don’t care about anything.

3. You really wish you weren’t *here* right now.

4. “Serving up smiles” sounds like the worst thing in the entire world.

5. Your neighbors are always out to ruin your day.

6. You never actually get to have fun.

7. And when people try to get you to do fun things, it’s like…

8. Because you hate everyone.

9. You think life is absolutely miserable.

11. And the future is horrifying.

12. You might actually be single forever.

14. And sometimes you just want someone to smash you in the head.

15. You want to block out all the people who drive you CRAZY.

16. Someone always snatches your chance at happiness.

17. You get yourself into awful situations.

18. And sometimes you feel like, “UGH. Not today.”

19. Because you’ll probably just get another migraine.

20. And will go through the day like this:

22. You’re quietly desperate.

23. You have no soul (and are proud of it).

24. You get into confrontations, and then back down because the other person is hot.

25. BUT you actually have a life.

27. And you can block out the people that annoy you.

28. And basically be your sassy self because you’re Squidward Tentacles…

29. And you can be your fine, miserable self.

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Full-time Beyoncé and writer for BFF at BuzzFeed. His work for BuzzFeed is now (mostly) on Twitter, Tumblr and @YrBFF
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