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If “Game Of Thrones” Were On “Maury”

“I AM 2 BILLION PERCENT SURE I’M KING, MAURY.” (Warning: Some spoilers if you’re not caught up on the show.)

1. First of all, The Maury Show would probably entice the people of Westeros to its studio with the following teaser:

Matt Bellassai / The Maury Show

2. Or possibly this:

Matt Bellassai / The Maury Show

3. But most likely this:

Matt Bellassai / The Maury Show

4. Cersei and Robert would probably be the first guests, and engage in a very heated battle before a much-needed Maury paternity test:

Matt Bellassai / HBO

5. And then, after a very dramatic pause by Maury himself:

Matt Bellassai / HBO

6. The audience would react accordingly:

Matt Bellassai / The Maury Show

7. Then Cersei and Jaime would have it out:

Matt Bellassai / HBO

8. Jaime would give his sob story:

Matt Bellassai / HBO

9. The audience would rage against both of them:

Matt Bellassai / The Maury Show

10. Littlefinger would make an appearance and disappoint Maury immediately:

Matt Bellassai / The Maury Show / HBO

11. Then Cersei would start making wild accusations against everyone else:

Matt Bellassai / HBO

12. Maury would swoop back in with some lie detector results, and Tyrion would respond accordingly:

Matt Bellassai / HBO

13. The audience would still side against him:

Matt Bellassai / The Maury Show

14. Theon and Ramsay Snow would have a good yelling match:

Matt Bellassai / HBO

15. People would be very confused:

Matt Bellassai / The Maury Show

16. Fresh off his lie detector results, Tyrion would have to face Shae:

Matt Bellassai / HBO

17. Sansa would inevitably bring her tears:

Matt Bellassai / HBO

18. And the audience would direct even more hate at Tyrion:

Matt Bellassai / The Maury Show

19. Old Walder Frey would stop by to disappoint Maury even further:

Matt Bellassai / The Maury Show / HBO

20. Jon Snow would try to clear his name:

Matt Bellassai / HBO

21. The audience would jeer at him accordingly:

Matt Bellassai / The Maury Show

22. Daenerys would come right out and say something wild:

Matt Bellassai / The Maury Show / HBO

23. And Joffrey would close the show with a truly dramatic move:

Matt Bellassai / HBO

24. And the audience would go wild:

Matt Bellassai / The Maury Show

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