28 Reasons Why Kids Ruin Christmas

‘Tis the season to get your festering little monster a giant lump of coal.

We already know kids are stupid and the worst.

This is a well-established fact.

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Kids around Christmastime are ESPECIALLY AWFUL.

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1. First of all, they have NO SENSE OF WHAT TO ASK SANTA FOR.

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2. Then when they get their shit, THEY SCREAM.

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3. They’re literally possessed.

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4. They’re evil demons around presents.

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5. Careless, evil demons.

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6. They become EMPOWERED around Christmas.

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7. They get in the way of literally everything.

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8. They don’t help hang decorations when you’re obviously in peril.

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9. Oh, you’re cutting down the tree? LET ME GET IN THE WAY.

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10. Oh, you’re setting up the tree? LET ME GET IN THE WAY.

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11. Oh, you set up the tree?! LET ME GET IN THE WAY.

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13. Also, they HATE SANTA.

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14. Like *HATE* him.

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15. They suck the joy out of every Christmas occasion.

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16. Every Christmas picture is basically this.

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18. They’re afraid of friendly snowmen.

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19. They are functionally USELESS.

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21. Hateful little trolls.

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22. Small, joyless animals.

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23. Living, breathing lumps of coal.

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24. They get all up in your way when you’re trying to shop.

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25. They’re weird.

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26. And stupid.

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27. And they can’t walk in the snow.

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28. And they’re the worst.

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Congratulations, kids. You’re the reason Santa drinks.

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