1. First of all, they have NO SENSE OF WHAT TO ASK SANTA FOR.
2. Then when they get their shit, THEY SCREAM.
3. They’re literally possessed.
5. Careless, evil demons.
6. They become EMPOWERED around Christmas.
8. They don’t help hang decorations when you’re obviously in peril.
9. Oh, you’re cutting down the tree? LET ME GET IN THE WAY.
10. Oh, you’re setting up the tree? LET ME GET IN THE WAY.
11. Oh, you set up the tree?! LET ME GET IN THE WAY.
12. ALWAYS. IN. THE. WAY.
19. They are functionally USELESS.
24. They get all up in your way when you’re trying to shop.
25. They’re weird.
26. And stupid.
27. And they can’t walk in the snow.
28. And they’re the worst.
Full-time Beyoncé and writer for BFF at BuzzFeed. His work for BuzzFeed is now (mostly) on Twitter, Tumblr and @YrBFF