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THE PANCAKE OSCARS 2014

Oscars yesterday. Pancake Day tomorrow. The result: The Pancake Oscars – Faces of winners from yesterday’s Oscars in pancake batter. Why? Because Leonardo DiCaprio needs to win something…

1. Best Director, Alfonso Cuarón (Gravity)

Making pancakes in space could present further problems for Bullock and Clooney, but this is a well directed mix of eggs, milk and flour from Alfonoso. Spanish for pancake is tortita.

2. Best Actress in a Supporting Role, Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave)

Lupita grew up in Kenya but now lives in Brooklyn. We’re happy to know she’s somewhere she can celebrate with a good stack of American pancakes and maple syrup.

3. Best Actor in a Leading Role, Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)

McConaughey is known for his manly physique. What better way to bulk up than a good stack of pancakes?

4. Best Actor in a Supporting Role, Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)

Jared’s parallel rock career in 30 Seconds to Mars was almost scuppered by a major label lawsuit, detailed in the documentary Artifact. While this was a downer for Leto, all those complex legal negotiations must’ve left some time for pancake eating.

5. Best Actress in a Leading Role, Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)

In Blue Jasmine, Cate plays a former socialite who’s fallen on hard times. We’d hope that she still finds time to enjoy pancakes - because let’s face it, they’re a lot cheaper than foie gras and lobster.

6. Best Picture, 12 Years A Slave, in this case represented by Chiwetel Ejiofor

Chiwetel is one of the few people here who’d know what Shrove Tuesday is, having grown up in Forest Gate. We hope tomorrow he’s somewhere able to enjoy a good traditional British pancake, perhaps with lemon and sugar

7. BEST PANCAKE FACE, LEONARDO DICAPRIO (THE WOLF OF PANCAKES)

Putting in a strong performance in the pan, Leo makes up for his Oscar lack here. We know he’d wolf down a stack, that’s for sure.

All images from The Pancake Oscars.

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