1. 1. Clay Buchholz, Bearded
The Jesse Pinkman of playoff beards. Ambitious, scrappy, and vaguely reminiscent of a meth problem.
2. Buccholz, Unbearded
Under the Jesse Pinkman of playoff beards, we have…Jesse Pinkman?
3. 2. Mike Carp, Bearded
The beard of a kindly, conscientious shepherd upon the emerald fields of Ireland.
4. Carp, Unbearded
Carp, during his time as a Binghamton Met, was more interested in haunting your dreams, possibly eating your soul.
5. 3. Ryan Dempster, Bearded
Tailored, understated, Dempster’s beard is the Hoover of Boston’s “Animal House.”
6. Dempster, Unbearded
A middle-distance stare you could bring home to mom.
8. Gomes, Unbearded
His eyebrows were the price he paid for a beard so luscious. It was worth it.
9. 5. Jason Motte, Bearded
Motte, currently injured, has overseen the season with the beard of a stately King in a fancy-pants chess set. Checkmate, bitchez!
10. Motte, Unbearded
The Unbearded Motte is so rare in the wild that this was the only picture I could find during a thorough search of the Internets.
11. 6. Mike Napoli, Bearded
If your lawn gnome could throw shade. And had 92 RBIs.
12. Napoli, Unbearded
Napoli’s current look, which he’s been known to blow dry and treat with beard oil, easily tops his stubbly chin strap of old.
13. 7. Big Papi, Bearded
David Ortiz doesn’t grow a beard. He grows Optimus Prime’s lower jaw.
14. Little Papi, Unbearded
Before you could find him in the club(house) with a bottle of bub, you could find him at the Sears portrait studio, apparently.
15. 8. Dustin Pedroia, Bearded
We can only hope that the hint of a neckbeard will really come out to play during the Series.
18. Reddick, Unbearded
No, really. That’s him. I double-checked.
20. 10. David Ross, Bearded
Some men’s beards gray with age. Ross’ grays with wisdom, about beards. “We like to say over here, there are no bad beards, there are just different ones,” he said. “Some of them may be ugly, but you’ve got to rock what you’ve got.”
21. Ross, Unbearded
Fresh-faced as a Dodger, Ross was pretty much the exact opposite of the team’s most famous beard, Brian Wilson.
22. 11. Jarrod Saltalatalamalamacchia
Boston Salty is his pirate name.
23. Saltalamascrewit, Unbearded
I would never have guessed he was fighting the hotness so hard. After the season, surrender. Surrender to the hotness.
26. 13. Adam Wainwright, Bearded
Meticulously groomed is the preferred style of the Cardinal bearded, with starting pitcher Wainwright keeping it tight.
27. Wainwright, Unbearded
A polite pizza guy you’d give a nice tip.
30. 15. Quintin Berry, Bearded
Three weeks of growth, according to the left fielder, who wears a “Blood, Sweat, and Beards” t-shirt to support the movement since his facial hair won’t cooperate.
31. Berry, Unbearded