15 Of Baseball’s Best Before They Were Bearded

The hairy heroes of October weren’t always so unshorn. Note: the list heavy on Red Sox because they’re heavy on facial hair.

1. 1. Clay Buchholz, Bearded

The Jesse Pinkman of playoff beards. Ambitious, scrappy, and vaguely reminiscent of a meth problem.

2. Buccholz, Unbearded

Under the Jesse Pinkman of playoff beards, we have…Jesse Pinkman?

3. 2. Mike Carp, Bearded

The beard of a kindly, conscientious shepherd upon the emerald fields of Ireland.

4. Carp, Unbearded

Carp, during his time as a Binghamton Met, was more interested in haunting your dreams, possibly eating your soul.

5. 3. Ryan Dempster, Bearded

Tailored, understated, Dempster’s beard is the Hoover of Boston’s “Animal House.”

6. Dempster, Unbearded

A middle-distance stare you could bring home to mom.

7. 4. Jonny Gomes, Bearded

Gimli?

8. Gomes, Unbearded

His eyebrows were the price he paid for a beard so luscious. It was worth it.

9. 5. Jason Motte, Bearded

Motte, currently injured, has overseen the season with the beard of a stately King in a fancy-pants chess set. Checkmate, bitchez!

10. Motte, Unbearded

The Unbearded Motte is so rare in the wild that this was the only picture I could find during a thorough search of the Internets.

11. 6. Mike Napoli, Bearded

If your lawn gnome could throw shade. And had 92 RBIs.

12. Napoli, Unbearded

Napoli’s current look, which he’s been known to blow dry and treat with beard oil, easily tops his stubbly chin strap of old.

13. 7. Big Papi, Bearded

David Ortiz doesn’t grow a beard. He grows Optimus Prime’s lower jaw.

14. Little Papi, Unbearded

Before you could find him in the club(house) with a bottle of bub, you could find him at the Sears portrait studio, apparently.

15. 8. Dustin Pedroia, Bearded

We can only hope that the hint of a neckbeard will really come out to play during the Series.

16. Pedroia, Unbearded

Cheese!

17. 9. Josh Reddick, Bearded

Play some Skynyrd!

18. Reddick, Unbearded

No, really. That’s him. I double-checked.

21. Ross, Unbearded

Fresh-faced as a Dodger, Ross was pretty much the exact opposite of the team’s most famous beard, Brian Wilson.

22. 11. Jarrod Saltalatalamalamacchia

Boston Salty is his pirate name.

23. Saltalamascrewit, Unbearded

I would never have guessed he was fighting the hotness so hard. After the season, surrender. Surrender to the hotness.

24. 12. Michael Wacha, Bearded

Your prom date’s hot dad.

25. Michael Wacha, Unbearded

Your prom date!

26. 13. Adam Wainwright, Bearded

Meticulously groomed is the preferred style of the Cardinal bearded, with starting pitcher Wainwright keeping it tight.

27. Wainwright, Unbearded

A polite pizza guy you’d give a nice tip.

28. 14. Brian Wilson, Bearded

‘Nuff said.

29. Wilson, Unbearded and Half-Bearded

30. 15. Quintin Berry, Bearded

Three weeks of growth, according to the left fielder, who wears a “Blood, Sweat, and Beards” t-shirt to support the movement since his facial hair won’t cooperate.

31. Berry, Unbearded

Awwww.

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