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1. "You're good, but I am better than you. Let me explain why" Mariah
2. "I am so excited that everyone forgot about 'Glitter'" Mariah
3. "I just left my husband; now I am going to be a straight-up hoe and you're going to respect it" Mariah
4. "I can do a nervous breakdown SO much better than you can" Mariah
5. "Taking bubble bathes with my dog makes me happy" Mariah
6. "Think you look good pregnant? Well I look better. I also like to take pictures like this" Mariah
7. "I even nail a little overweight and hammered better than you do" Mariah
8. "I'm just better than you" Mariah
9. "Yes, I did just hit that note" Mariah
10. "I totally just farted and nobody's going to call me out on it cause I'm Mariah" Mariah
11. "Wait...I wasn't nominated for a best actress Oscar for 'Glitter'?" Mariah
12. "I tell my husband he's talented to get what I want" Mariah
13. "I'm flattered but I really can't be bothered right now" Mariah
14. "My opinion is the only one that matters" Mariah
15. "I'm sorry, what?" Mariah
16. "Oh God, this bitch again" Mariah
17. "I seriously, don't have time for this" Mariah
18. "Let's text daddy and tell him that even I couldn't help save his career" Mariah
19. "I'm going to cut a bitch" Mariah
20. But hey, you're Mariah...
21. ...and you're kind of the shit...
22. ...which is why we will always LOVE Mariah no matter what her mood is.
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