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1. You'd never date a guy named "Skipper".
2. If you drank as much as they did, you wouldn't be considered "fabulous" you'd be considered an "alcoholic".
3. You wouldn't be caught dead on Staten Island for any reason whatsoever. Ever.
4. You can't afford this...
5. ...or any of this...
6. Hell, you can't even afford Lily's purse...cause you live in New York and you're poor as hell.
7. Those loud trannies on the street every night aren't strangers...they're your roommates.
8. If someone running for office asked you to pee on him, you'd blackmail his ass.
9. A man who calls you "a fucking bitch, a fucking whore" in bed, would never be invited back for seconds.
10. The closest thing you've ever come to doing this consisted of a bum pulling you around in a radio flyer in Central Park
11. You'd never leave your gay best friend at a bar for a hook-up. Unless you're a gay guy, then you totally would.
12. You'd be thrilled if you were on the cover of a magazine. Even if you looked like this:
13. This would happen...only in your dreams
14. Your good friends would never allow this hair to happen.
15. If you went to her apartment and your $450 pair of shoes went missing, you'd punch her in the face
16. You'd never leave your apartment wearing this...
17. ...or any of this.
18. And you would never leave your apartment looking like this.
19. Carnations would never fly as apology flowers. Dick.
20. This...this would TOTALLY happen though.
21. If the man with whom your having an affair's wife fell down the stairs, you'd probably just leave her there. It's OK to admit it.
22. You'd be flattered if you had a drag queen relpica of yourself.
23. ...but let's face it, New York is kind of the shit...
24. ...and your friends are kind of awesome...
25. ...so maybe life in New York really is like "Sex and the City" after all.
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