1.
Nick, the children's story enthusiast.
2.
Zachary, whose sense of humor couldn't save the relationship.
3.
Shaun, who probably doesn't understand how blow jobs work.
4.
Jared, who was just too good for us.
5.
James, who wasn't as original as he thought.
6.
Kyle, who made sure to follow up five months later.
7.
Sean, who has the night all planned out for us.
9.
This person, who sees ice cream as good an opening as any.
11.
Patrick, who is not interested in Target.
12.
Spencer, who is very concerned about our level of passion.
13.
Doug, who believes that size really does matter.
14.
Tyler, whose jokes are tragically misunderstood.
15.
Jake, who is wondering why you haven't asked him some important questions yet.
16.
Jeremy, the bird-lover.
17.
This person, who hasn't quite mastered anatomy.
18.
And this person, who is curious about anatomy.
20.
Chase, a French checkpoint officer.
21.
Heath, the master of delivery.
22.
Brendan, who is, like, just trying to educate himself about bisexuality.
23.
Thomas, the professional pipe cleaner.
24.
Chris, the professional winky face.
25.
This master of segues.
26.
Dylan, who is not usually attracted to short-haired people, I guess.
27.
Joseph, the peanut butter enthusiast.
28.
Frankie, who apparently isn't into pizza.
29.
This person, who is not even worth unlocking the phone for.
30.
Dyllon, an emoji artist.
31.
Kato, an extremely clever human being.
32.
Jimmy, who really only has one question.
33.
This person, who is in for a disappointment.
34.
Sergio, who can go from friendly to irate in two hours.
35.
This not very cute person.
36.
Taylor, who has an urgent medical emergency.
37.
Tyler, who really got into the Halloween spirit.
38.
Anthony, who is inspired by our hair.
39.
And Nick, who believes kids are a priority.
