It's Hard Out Here For A Chug

Everyone has pet peeves. Even pets. This (ridiculously adorable) puppy tells it how it is.

What up. I'm Smash.

For the most part my life has been pretty chill. But man sometimes shit gets rough, ya know? Here are some of my biggest complaints in life.

People who talk about their workouts on Facebook

I like to run too, OK. But unless you soiled yourself or fell off the treadmill I don't need to hear about it. I also hate when people post pictures of their dinner - oh and their pets. No. One. Cares.

Hot rocks & no sandals

It's like I'm walking on actual FIRE!

I can't drink like I used to

What used to take a cheeseburger and cat nap to get over now takes THREE DAYS!!!

Missing socks

Does my dryer eat them? How come it's always just one from the set too? I feel like it wouldn't bug me so much if I was missing the entire pair.

This game - it's NOT FUN for me OK!

Please take a moment to understand - this HORRIFIES me.

People who don't clean their butts

Oh I'm sorry that you don't know how to use an ashtray - let me pick those up for you. With my handy opposable thumb.

Carb crashes...

That second cupcake seemed like a good idea at the time?

One stupid Snap-Chat and now my ass is on the internet forever

Isn't it some unsaid rule that you don't take a screen shot?

When wannabes act like they know about the Chug life...

Let it be known that the Chug life chooses you.

That Sarah McLachlan animal rescue commercial...

One day I will either learn to use the remote and turn it off or figure out a way to choke back these tears.

Showtime cancelled 'The United States of Tera'

It was getting so good too...

I got humped by a girl in a dress!

Not my most manly moment

My sister hates me

But I guess to be fair she does hate everyone

My lack of balls

Yeah, that day was basically the worst. Ever.

Kids are always ruining things

I have a zit that looks like a Herpe!

I'm not allowed in the house with my favorite snack

Here just taste it. It doesn't smell so bad once you experience the deliciousness.

I have to keep the door open when I have girls over

I guess maybe the folks like to watch or something?

When I forget to check my to-go order and they get it wrong...

Who forgets the relish?

My neck fat

Alarm clocks... oh and mornings in general

What is that horrendous buzzing noise at 6 a.m.!?!?!

Shaming and judgements...

So maybe you don't eat poop? I don't judge you for that? Why you gotta be making me feel bad for enjoying a dried turd every once in awhile?

Traffic.

Insomnia

Some nights I just can't get in my Zen place and get comfy.

Tan lines

People who don't share

Selfish eaters

People who don't share and then think they're gonna eat my leftovers for lunch

It's called Karma

Mornings

I know I already said that - but I really hate them.

Now this. This I can get on board with.

Not but a care in the world!