The 11 Worst Kinds Of Tube Commuters

Other people are the worst.

1. The Smelly Food Eater

Evening Standard

The whole carriage smells like your vindaloo. And that guy's seafood salad. Just stop it now.

2. The Seat Protector

TimeOut London

These people are the WORST. They've got a seat and will not give it up. They'll pretend not to see pregnant women or elderly people. Most often found pretending to be asleep, reading a book or playing Candy Crush. A plague o' your houses, Seat Protectors.

3. The Seat Hawk

London Evening Standard

The Seat Hawk wants a seat, and will fight for one if it becomes free. The Seat Hawk is standing on the Tube and is not happy about it, and will elbow and push you out of the way to ensure they secure that most elusive of luxuries on the Underground, an empty seat. Can often be seen making a meal of falling all over the tube and guilting sitting commuters with their eyes, despite having no real need for a seat. The Seat Hawk is not the worst of London's Tube scourges, but still needs to stop.

4. The Pile-On Parade

NBC

JUST WAIT TWO SECONDS UNTIL I GET OFF, OTHERWISE I SHALL BE SWEPT AWAY IN THE PILE ON. TELL MY MOTHER I LOVE HER.

5. The Pole Leaner

Via middleclassfury.com

Don't mind me, I'll just go flying through the air every time the tube stops or jerks. Glad you're comfortable.

6. The Slow Walker

Twentieth Century Fox

Just no.

7. The Shouter

Evening Standard

We can't move down inside the carriage any more, someone's forearm is already cutting off circulation to my neck. There's no more room. Stop shouting.

8. The Ground Stander

Warner Bros Pictures

Sworn enemy of The Shouter. We've all been there. You've got a lovely spot standing beside the door and you're within reaching distance of the pole. The train stops and another crowd of people try to pile on. As upsetting as this is, you must move. Don't make people attempt Olympic gymnastics to get onto the train and past you. Don't be that guy.

9. The Phone Talker

Cafemom.com

Found most frequently on the Overground and the DLR. We don't care what you're getting your mum for her birthday, and we definitely don't want to listen to your 15-minute debate with your brother on the subject.

10. The Left Stander

LBC

While this can send seasoned commuters into a rage, The Left Stander is usually just a tourist who just doesn't know yet. They mean no harm. Refrain from pushing them down the stairs.

11. The Backpack Bandit

TLC

The train is packed and your backpack is reshaping my spine. Take it off.

What kind of commuter gets your goat?