10 Excerpts From The Diary Of A Sriracha Addict

These excerpts have been taken from the author’s fictitious journal. A Sriracha addict of the highest order, she is coping the best way she knows how. By eating more Sriracha.

1. February 07, 2011

This morning I woke up craving Sriracha. I haven’t eaten any since I went to bed last night. I may need to figure out how to consume it in my sleep.

2. May 15, 2011

I’ve been sitting at my desk for over 8 minutes now. I wonder if I can sneak some Sriracha to put on my Sriracha without anyone seeing.

No one saw me! Phew. I was worried I would have to share it. Does that make me a bad person?

3. December 21, 2011

They offered me TABASCO instead of Sriracha at the restaurant today. ARE THEY SERIOUS? I yearn for the day when it’s widespread. If only the government could pass a law to make it mandatory.

4. March 27, 2012

Do you think I’ll ever find someone to share this addiction with? Oh! Just imagine the possibilities. We could go around discovering dishes to drench with Sriracha. Mmmmmm.

5. June 17, 2012

I stole my roommate’s Sriracha stash last night and filled the bottle with a mix of tabasco and ketchup. She won’t be able to tell the difference. I feel bad but she doesn’t appreciate the wonderfulness of the sauce.

6. October 4, 2012

My friends staged an intervention today. They just don’t get it. Their tastebuds don’t have the high spice threshold that mine do. That’s not my fault! Ugh.

7. January 18, 2013

Guess what?! I now know four people with a similar addiction. It’s spreading! More and more people are becoming aware. I don’t know what this means though. We’ll have to wait and see.

8. November 7, 2013

I can’t stop hyperventilating. I got news today that there is going to be a Sriracha shortage! Am I still alive? Must. Muster. Strength. To stock up.

9. December 3, 2013

They keep going back and forth about the Sriracha shortage. I can’t get any peace of mind. Sriracha god help me. I’ve stocked up but I’m still so scared. Don’t they get it? Lives depend on it!

10. December 31, 2013

Sriracha is in the media now. A lot. In fact it’s been proven that Sriracha has health benefits. It may not be for everyone but I’m happy it’s becoming more mainstream. Yay!

From:

**This book is make believe. It is a figment of the community member’s imagination / Via srirachafiles.tumblr.com

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!

Facebook Conversations
          
    Now Buzzing