10 Episodes Of "Goosebumps" That Totally Messed Up Your Childhood

Reader beware...you're in for some serious throwback...

Don't lie. This show fucked you up as a kid and you know it. R.L. Stine somehow managed to traumatize an entire generation of children. The big question is, which was scarier: the monsters, or the acting? Or was it the fact that they were all painfully and obviously Canadian?

1. "Night of the Living Dummy Saga"

20th Television

SO FIRST OF ALL THERE'S THIS ASSHOLE. Oh my god, he just kept coming back. Over and over and over again, like a bad case of the heebie jeebies. Like Jesus Christ, just go the fuck away. BUT HE NEVER DID. He went after family after family, and caused child after child bed-wetting nightmares. The eyes and the mouth, and the fact that he was, I don't know, A FUCKING LIVING DUMMY were scary enough, and then there was its VOICE. Like imagine waking up in the middle of the night and having that thing looming over you sounding like Gilbert Gottfried. *Full body shudder* And did I mention that his name was SPANKY??? Gross.

2. "Say Cheese and Die"

20th Television

Is that you, Ryan Gosling??? YOU BET YOUR SWEET RYAN GOSLING ASS IT IS. To be honest, that's really the only reason why this episode is on this list: to remind us that even back as a baby goose (or: Gosling) this guy was breaking hearts and taking haunted pictures of his friends with a camera stolen from a creepy abandoned house. So not only did R.L. Stine give us nightmares, but he also gave us a few uncomfortable sex dreams too about our favorite camera-wielding teen. The episode came out in 1996, meaning that Gosling was about 16, and I was probably one and a half. But hey, age is just a number, right?

3. "Stay Out of the Basement (Parts I and II)"

20th Television

One of the earliest episodes in the first season of Goosebumps, this episode made kids not only scared of their fathers, but of their gardens too. Basically some Maury shit went down and it's all fucked.

4. "The Ghost Next Door"

20th Television

Talk about a mind-fuck. A young girl suspects a boy of being the ghost of a kid who died in a house fire, only to find that SHE is the ghost! Thank you, R.L. Stine, for giving '90s and '00s kids alike their first existential crisis!

5. "It Came From Under the Sink"

20th Television

A vampire potato. A FUCKING EVIL VAMPIRE POTATO. R.L. STINE RUINED POTATOES FOR US. IS NOTHING SACRED??????

6. "Let's Get Invisible"

20th Television

Okay so basically a bunch of kids find a mirror with a light over it and when you stand under the mirror and turn off the light you become invisible and then you get trapped in the mirror world and freeze to death while some evil twin or something replaces you. But the real mystery here is why does this boy look just like Chloë Grace Moretz when she was in Kickass?????

7. "Night At Terror Tower"

20th Television

Okay, you can't deny that the idea of being trapped in a medieval world and a torture chamber is pretty scary but DID YOU SEE THE SKETCHY DUDE WITH THE TRENCH COAT AND THE FEDORA BECAUSE HE WAS CREEPY AS HELL. FROM A YOUNG AGE R.L. STINE WARNED US ABOUT GUYS IN FEDORAS MAYBE HE WASN'T TOO BAD AFTER ALL.

8. "Go Eat Worms"

20th Television

WATCH THIS EPISODE AND YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO EAT SPAGHETTI AGAIN.

9. "The Girl Who Cried Monster"

20th Television

Remember the episode about the girl who found out her librarian was a monster and her parents wouldn't take her seriously? So they invited them over to dinner?? And then turned into monsters and ate him??? BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO BE THE ONLY MONSTERS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND DIDN'T WANT ANY COMPETITION???? BECAUSE I SURE DO.

10. "The Blob That Ate Everything"

20th Television

Tbh this nasty ass clump of vomit was more terrifying than Paranormal Activity. But if I had a magic typewriter that made every sentence come true??? I'd write a story about how I won the lottery and married Angelina Jolie. But a blob that demolishes the city and devours your enemies totally works too...I guess...