christmas

The Struggle Of Preparing For Christmas, As Told By "A Christmas Story"

Oh, fudge. It’s that time of year again.

1. You’ve started to feel the pressure. You know it’s coming.

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2. You can’t walk 10 feet without being sucked in by a shiny holiday display.

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3. Shopping for presents has become your only, and toughest, workout.

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4. As you cross the names off of your gift list, you sadly watch your bank account dwindle.

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5. But then you remember that you’ll be receiving gifts, too, and you’re filled with a little cheer…

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6. Until your family tells you there’s no way you’ll be getting what you want this year.

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7. Frustrated, you decide to do something reckless like spending the rest of your money on yourself or watching movie marathons instead of studying for finals.

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8. You later regret your decision and cry about it for hours.

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9. Emotionally drained, you prepare yourself for a day filled with finals or staring at a computer screen at work.

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10. Your day only gets worse when you realize that your professors or bosses are definitely plotting to shred every last bit of hope you had.

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They seem to gift you with horrible test scores or piles of work.

11. You head home and decorate the house, thinking it will make you feel better.

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12. But decorating only seems to make you angrier.

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13. You find solace in a tub of ice cream and Netflix, falling asleep with chocolate smeared all over your face.

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14. You clean yourself up the following morning and tell yourself it will be a better day.

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15. You pack your things and head home to see your family.

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16. As you drive through your hometown, you’re greeted by every person you dreaded seeing over the holiday break.

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17. You can’t go anywhere without feeling watched. You’re starting to feel trapped.

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18. You start sliding into a frenzy of thought, thinking about how this year’s family Christmas will go.

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19. There’s the one family member who thinks he’s smarter than everyone else.

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20. You’ll have to see your aunts who will taunt you and question you about your future.

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21. And you’ll be forced to wear that hideous onesie Aunt Clara made for you.

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22. You can already hear your racist uncle’s remarks.

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23. It’s all too much to handle. In your panic, you say it… THE word.

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24. Defeated, you fall to the ground where you realize that you’ve done it again. You’ve shot yourself in the eye by coming home again.

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25. So buckle up, and be sure to drink your Ovaltine, because the Christmas season has only just begun.

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