What you buy can say a lot about you, whether it's true or not. Just because you bought a kombucha keg for your apartment doesn't necessarily mean you're a recycling, hula hooping, vegetable oil fueled car owner, but most would assume you are. The same goes with what you buy in the music category – or what you don't buy.
What do your musical purchases say about you?
Studio headphones for strolling the streets
You don't have a studio and you definitely don't make music – everyone knows. Those massive AKG's serve as a fashion statement, but one that does little to prove your musical prowess.
Vintage vinyl equipment
You know how music should sound, and you'll buy five different receivers until 'Aja' sounds like angels delivering the word of God. The only books you own are stacked under your bed, because all shelves are reserved for your revered collection of original pressings.
Artist bumper stickers
You just bought your first car – a rust-colored 2000 Honda Accord. In an attempt to pimp your own ride, you browse Amazon for some DMB and Phish bumper stickers. Now everyone knows you'd do anything to catch the New Years Eve gig at Madison Square Garden - if only you could afford it.
Concert merchandise
You don't have an issue paying $50 to get in the door, and another $20 to pay for the latest limited edition print from the opening band. You wear the shirt for nostalgia, and to show your friends you have a hip taste in music. However, the real reason you bought merch was to chat up the drummer and invite him for after-show drinks.
Solid-state multi-effect amplifiers
Your uncle just gave you his electric, and you'd like to plug it in and hear it scream. You're not knowledgeable of the difference between tube and solid-state amplifiers, so you go to the local experts at Guitar Center. The clerk talks up the latest Line Six Spider as its built-in effects allow for multiple playing styles. After a month of use, you scramble to sell it on Craigslist for a massive loss.
Vinyl from Urban Outfitters
You've heard about the trend and decided it's never too late to get involved. Since you're nervous the record store clerk might see right through your intentions, you pop down to your local Urban Outfitters to pick up the Vampire Weekend LP and a pair of lens-less glasses.
Artists sew-on patch
You just scored a jean jacket from your local Goodwill. The jacket is dirty enough as is (after five previous owners,) but that doesn't mean you can't up your cred at the local hole-in-the-wall metal bar. After your crisp Misfits patch is tightly secured, you make sure to stomp on it in dirty boots before leaving the house.
Subscription on-demand music service
The times they are a changin' and you've decided to invest $10 a month for a service that allows you to stream music from nearly every artist known to man. You're tired of having to upload all those iTunes songs every time your computer crashes, so you've taken a new approach, but now you can't remember any artists to search for.
DJ mobile app
You are still amazed that Steve Aoki threw cake in your face, and decide to take a stab at mixing some records. You really want to get your hands on some Pioneer CDJs, but figure a $5 iPhone app might be a better place to start. Once you've given up on attempting to beat map on a 5-inch screen, you immediately regret your decision.
Cheapo ukulele
You'd like to learn to play guitar, but realize ukulele has fewer strings. After watching multiple YouTube tutorials for "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "Five Years Time," you run down to Guitar Center to drop $40 on a ukulele. After you've successfully played each song more times than you'd care to admit, you run out of ideas and let you ukulele hang over your desk as a memento to attract the ladies.
Subscription radio service
You don't feel the urge to sort through your tunes to create playlists for every possible occasion, so you let the experts (or algorithms) do it for you. Time is money, and there can be no time wasted when it comes to music – you want new music, you want your favorites, you want it now, and you want it without ads.
You don't buy music, but somehow have more than your friends
It's because you're a dirty pirate. You may not look the part, but your soul is slowly rotting like Keith Richard's teeth. It's just a matter of time before the record companies come knocking on your door for the $2 million you owe.
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