16 Things You Realize When You Move Away From Miami

Good luck explaining your drinking habits and Spanglish to your new friends.

1. People speak English. Fluently.

They show up to places on time, too.

2. Excuse me, the beach is how far exactly?

At least there’s parking.

3. Weather exists below 65 degrees.

4. Nobody at the office finds your Miami anecdotes as cool as you do.

But really guys, I fell asleep on Sammy Sosa.

5. Nightclubs close long before, well, sunrise.

6. You are more vain than your new friends.

7. Your reaction to Cuban food in Miami:

Your reaction to Cuban food everywhere else:

8. Clubbing on a Monday isn’t exactly a thing.

Neither are hurricane parties.

9. In general, rain doesn’t impede on your life.

10. The word “bro” isn’t an integral part of everyone’s vocab.

11. Heels aren’t always appropriate attire — yes, this includes pool parties.

12. A visit to the doctor does not imply seeing your plastic surgeon.

14. Shopping is not always a pleasure.

15. People are still pissed at Lebron.

But he doesn’t care, so neither should you.

16. People will be excited to hear you’re from there, and you’ll be all like, yeah, I know.

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