7 Burning Questions I Have About Ariana Grande's #DoughnutGate Statement

I mean, I personally think they are fair questions.

After Ariana Grande licked doughnuts in what will go down in history as DoughnutGate 2015, she then released an apology statement.

But...I have questions about this statement. Let's break it down.

Line 1:

Cool, cool. That's nice! OkK so you regret licking the doughnuts right?

Lines 2 and 3:

Yeah, definitely. What you said wasn't cool, but what about the licking of the doughnuts?

Lines 3.5-6:

Yes, sure, too much free eating, but like, what about the doughnuts? How do you feel about the licking of the display doughnuts?

Lines 6-8:

Yep, TOTALLLLYYYYYY get that. Like, childhood obesity is bad and so is poison and stuff. But also, what about the doughnut licking. You licked those doughnuts. What about that?

Lines 8-11:

Yes, you should definitely demand more from our food industry, and be responsible. But also, like...WHAT ABOUT THE DOUGHNUT LICKING?

Lines 11-13:

I am so sorry for your oral surgery, I really am, but also....WHAT ABOUT THE LICKING OF THE DOUGHNUTS? YOU'RE GOING TO ADDRESS THAT RIGHT?

Last line:

OK...but you're going to add a P.S. and talk about the display doughnut licking situation, RIGHT? RIGHT? RIGHT????????????

Oh, no. That's the end. OK. Cool, we'll never talk about the doughnut licking thing again!

JK.