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The 21 Types Of Hipster You Encounter In London

A spotter’s guide.

1. The ones who clearly have no medical need for those glasses.

2. The ones riding absurd bikes.

Which they leave parked outside the Apple store.

3. The ones whose fashion icon appears to be Batman.

4. The ones who insist on sitting on the pavement.

No one knows why hipsters do this. It’s one of life’s mysteries.

They’re just weirdly drawn to pavements.

5. The ones who drink cocktails out of jam jars.

Seriously, what is wrong with just using a regular glass?

6. The ones with an overly ostentatious love of vinyl.

7. The ones who wear leopard-print skinny jeans.

9. And fluoro jumpsuits.

10. The DJs who don’t care if anyone’s dancing. They’re here to “educate” the crowd, not entertain them.

11. The foodies who think this is an acceptable lunch option.

12. The ones who are very keen for you to notice their animal tattoos.

13. The ones who embrace Movember, supposedly “for charity”, but really because they just love themselves with a ‘tache.

And they secretly think women find it attractive.

14. The ones who insist on taking photos of everything.

They’ll even take photos of people taking photos of them.

15. The ones who create rubbish street art.

Which always conveys a really heavy-handed anti-capitalist message.

16. The ones with hard-hitting statements on their T-shirts.

17. The ones who wear sunglasses indoors.

18. The goths who almost certainly never listen to goth music.

19. The couples who try just that bit too hard to project a sense of gritty urban reality.

20. The ones who carry animals as accessories.

21. And the ones with beards that scream ‘I am hipster. Hear me roar’.

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