43 Things British People Know To Be True

It’s just science.

1. The Jeremy Kyle Show attracts the best guests

2. This is an excellent way to enhance a tattoo

3. It’s always great when an arrogant footballer gets owned on Twitter

4. This is the saddest and most romantic story ever

5. This is a must-read article

7. There is nothing funny about this place name

9. Definitely nothing funny about this street sign either

10. You know what is funny, though? Jeremy Hunt hitting a woman in the head with a bell

11. This Catchphrase puzzle

12. This TV moment

13. And these anagrams on Countdown

14. There is nothing more unsettling than a badly stuffed fox

15. A fox on a trampoline, on the other hand, is delightful to behold

16. As is a fox licking a window, for that matter

Julie Milne / Via birdguides.com

17. The only good thing about the London riots were the Photoshop efforts that followed in their wake

18. Speaking of which, here is a rioter trying and failing to throw an umbrella at the police

19. The best thing about the Olympics was the way it brought the nation together in a spirit of celebration and good will

20. Absolutely everyone joined in the fun, which was wonderful to see

21. It’s almost impossible these days to find a birthday card that doesn’t look like this

22. Ian Beale looks like a sloth

23. Roy Hodgson looks like an owl

24. Shaun Ryder looks like a chimp

25. And Liam Gallagher looks like Ikea monkey

26. Women’s magazines are a font of excellent advice

27. There is a world of difference between American TV and ours

28. This is very true

29. So is this

30. Private Eye covers are the best covers

31. And Private Eye cartoons are the best cartoons

32. This Daniel Craig/Judi Dench faceswap gets more disturbing the longer you look at it

33. This would definitely be worth reading

34. There is nothing on earth - NOTHING - more excruciating than Boris Johnson dancing to the Spice Girls

35. Local newspapers will always be awesome

36. In conclusion, then? There’s plenty to smile about if you’re British

Gijsbert Hanekroot/Redferns / Getty Images

37. After all, we are the happiest, most upbeat people in the world

38. And even though we fall to pieces at the slightest sign of bad weather

39. And the authorities here can be a little petty

40. You have to look on the bright side. Just think: at this very moment, someone on the London Underground is reading this sign

41. A fox is hanging out with a badger

Hydestile Wildlife Hospital / Rex USA

42. And everything is all right with the world

43. Therefore: Britain, fuck yeah!

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