The Best Things About "Work Bitch"

In case you’ve been living under a rock, part of Britney’s new single leaked. And it is as spectacular as you’d have hoped.

1. I mean, have you heard the song?

Exactly.

2. The return of Britishney

Her British accent is so incredibly misguided and inaccurate, but for some reason, she makes it completely endearing. It provides us with tinges of psycho-Britney circa 2005 when she’d randomly bust out a Cockney accent while walking barefoot through a gas station at 2 AM.

3. The impending music video

By all accounts, the video is supposed to be spectacular, with Britney allegedly dancing her ass off in the style of old school Britney. Think Onyx Hotel Tour, but in the middle of the desert. Plus, there’s a bikini and (at least) six-inch wedge heels involved, not to mention she’s personifying her own lyrics: “Look hot in a bikini, you better work bitch!”

4. The fact you’re going to hear it in every gay club ever for the next three months

The song’s mainstream commercial appeal is questionable, but rest assured you’ll see multiple drag queens performing it and flocks of gays twerking to it in the club.

5. The use of explatives

As “Gimme More” has proven, Britney’s use of the word “bitch” is magical.

6. It’s better than “Applause”

“Work Bitch” is what “Applause” wishes it was.

7. She unknowingly just created a new gay anthem

Any song that uses the word “work,” like, 40 times is basically destined to be a gay classic.

8. She knows her place

She respects her reputation and concurrently upholds it.

9. This was her only a few years ago

My, how far she’s come.

10. It unwitingly espouses conservative ideals

To quote, “You wanna hot body, you want a Bugatti, you want a Maserati: you better work, bitch.” See? It spans across political boundaries.

11. In conclusion…

12. It’s Britney, bitch

Enough said.

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