Ranking Every Britney Spears Song Ever Released

In honor of the 32nd birthday of Miss Britney Jean Spears, I have put together this comprehensive list ranking every song she has ever released, up until and including "Perfume" from Britney Jean. This list was very challenging to make - a number of factors went into my decisions including chart performance, live performances, personal preference, place in music and Britney history, and amount of slayage. I relied heavily on Wikipedia for fact checking so forgive me if anything is inaccurate. It was really difficult to compare Britney eras and albums and classics - we all have our own personal Brit favorites but just remember that every song she has given us is a gem. I could definitely reconsider the order - feel free to give me your thoughts on twitter or on tumblr.

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117. I Will Still Love You (…Baby One More Time)

This song wasn’t terrible, but ever since Don’s Philip’s disastrous tryout on “X Factor” when Britney was a judge, it doesn’t sound the same to me. “I will still love you” sounds more obsessive than sweet in retrospect.

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116. Why Should I Be Sad? (Blackout)

After putting together an album packed with club banger goodies, this total flop dribbles out at the end. Why should you be sad? Because this song exists. It sounds whiny and far too woe-is-me for someone who a few songs ago told us all to get naked (we’ll get there). Any song inspired by her relationship with K-Fed is sure to be bad, and that’s exactly what happened here.

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115. When Your Eyes Say It (Oops!...I Did It Again)

I like to just pretend this song never happened. She sounds like a robot in the beginning and the song has an unfortunate position on the album right after one of my all-time favorite Britney jams, so it simply pales in comparison. One I’d actually consider skipping (I know, blasphemy).

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114. The Beat Goes on (…Baby One More Time)

Though I think she does justice to Sonny and Cher, Britney was never meant to do covers. She was, is, and will ALWAYS be an original. The sound doesn’t really fit properly on the album (the last song of the album nearly always being a trouble spot for Britney, see: Why Should I Be Sad?). For anyone else, it’d be a nice effort, but Britney can (does, will) do better.

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113. I Love Rock N Roll (Britney)

I can’t help it, I just loathe (like Madonna-hydrangeas level) when Britney covers other artists. This from the woman whose FIRST single was one of the best-selling singles of all time? She needs to cover no one. People should be lining the streets to get a chance to cover her and worship at her feet (I used to have a shrine that I prayed to but the size of it was inversely proportional to my amount of dignity and the shrine took up a whole wall, so, yeah). Next.

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112. When I Found You (Britney)

This song is boring, which is not something Britney does well. She can definitely pile on the cheese factor and sap like a maple tree, but this track is downright coma-inducing until the synth starts malfunctioning and my ears bleed. “I found myself when I found you” What happened to strong girl Britney that dominated the last two albums before “Britney”? I understand why this song didn’t make the standard version of the album.

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111. (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction (Oops!...I Did It Again)

Like I’ve said before, she’s not a cover artist. I actually think this one fails more than “The Beat Goes On”, but since she performed part of this one as the opener to her 2000 VMA performance it has to be slightly higher (think nude body suit). I still rewatch that performance at least once a week (ask anyone at the gym who has seen me manage the dance moves on the elliptical) and it never, NEVER gets old.

110. Everybody (Blackout)

I discovered in the process of making this list that Blackout has bonus tracks! Unfortunately they sound more like demos that were never quite finalized. This one is a nod to the Eurythmics “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)” and I’ll say it again – covering other artists is not Britney’s thing. She came out swinging from her very first single and she needs no one else’s material to prove herself. Still a pretty fun listen.

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109. My Baby (Circus)

Written by the Queen herself, this song is a regression in terms of Britney’s songwriting (she starts out slow but picks up steam throughout her career). It hurts right from the start (“Tiny hands…”) and never really gets any better. She is adorable for writing a song about her kids though in the midst of all these eurodance, club-thumping, computerized dance tracks. Personally, I think they’d rather just listen to “Baby One More Time” on repeat like I did as a child.

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108. Get Back (Blackout)

A bonus track from Blackout that also falls flat on its face. There are some crazy sounds put in the back there (pretty sure one is pulled from a Bop It! Extreme but I can’t confirm for sure) and I think what she needs to get back from is this song. Every song can’t be a smash, but this was pretty unnecessary.

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107. The Answer (In The Zone)

Some of Britney’s bonus/Deluxe tracks are bangin’ – this unfortunately is not one of them. It’s a distinctly In The Zone track that just doesn’t really offer anything to remember – lyrics are meh, beat is so-so. It was written and produced by P. Diddy, - further proof that everyone wants to jump on the Britney bandwagon. He could not keep up with the Queen’s contributions to this album, however.

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106. Over To You Now (Chaotic: Britney and Kevin)

I have to admit – I had never heard this song before I made this list. It’s kind of a mess, but so was Britney’s life at the time so I’m giving her a break. It thumps and pounds, but doesn’t make a dent. Something about getting into the club and she can’t find the entrance? Britney seems confused in this song. And, like, wouldn’t they bring her in the back anyway? A pretty forgettable song from a period of Britney’s life we’d all like to forget.

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105. E-mail My Heart (…Baby One More Time)

A tad outdated (and I’m pretty sure the e-mail is not a metaphor for anything and she’s literally sitting at her comp hitting refresh until she gets an email) but maybe if she did a cover called “G-Chat My Heart” I could get into it (anyone who expresses love through emoticons has my heart for sure). This track kind of puts me to sleep, but in the sound, peaceful way.

104. Outta This World (Blackout)

Another song I never heard before putting this together, and one I could probably do without. It doesn’t keep up tempo-wise with Blackout and induces none of the euphoria I experienced for eleven tracks straight. It does attempt to be a little more personal than some of the other songs (which are straight up sex, dance, boys, repeat) so I moved it to the top of the list of Blackout bonus tracks (not saying much).

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103. Trouble (Circus)

Eek. This song is almost indistinguishable from a few other Circus tracks, except that it’s slightly worse. I thought “Womanizer” was repetitive until I listened to this and never wanted to hear the word “Trouble” again. I could still get down to it but there are a lot of other tracks on the album I’d prefer to shake it to. “Trouble For Me” is a much better Britney trouble song.

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102. Soda Pop (…Baby One More Time)

The first filler track on …Baby One More Time, “Soda Pop” has more cheese than a dairy farm. Even so, you can’t help but bounce along (or if you can, you’re just so confused by the addition of unidentified Jamaican soda jerk that you just listen in content bewilderment). Can’t hate.

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101. Dear Diary (Oops!...I Did It Again)

Britney’s first attempt at songwriting is…well it’s a start. There is something about the last track on Britney’s albums that is always “unique” (bad). This is the only track on the album that is less than three minutes long. Mercy. I moved it up on the list because it was the beginning of Britney being more involved with writing her music and that (later) produced some awesome results.

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100. Don’t Hang Up (In The Zone)

An acceptable, if unimaginative bonus track of In The Zone, “Don’t Hang Up” was co-written by Spears (shockingly it opens with the word “baby”, one of her favorite words) and sort of gets at her loneliness despite being a star. The part at the end sounds just like Imogen Heap which makes me think of Marissa being shot at the end of season 2 of “The OC”, so that’s pretty cool.

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99. Mmm Papi (Circus)

This song is fun in an I-can’t-believe-someone-who-won-a-Grammy-released-this kind of way, but most of the time it just leaves me shaking my head. The lyrics are just a little too silly to really get into and the beat is kind of Latin-y, but not in the sexy kind of way. I’m just not sure if I should dance or bop or do the mashed potato. “Let’s make out, let’s make out!” Not her best.

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98. Amnesia (Circus)

This lyrics and rhymes are everywhere and nowhere on this track, and I can’t really make any sense of it. I’m not sure if it’s happy or sad or just confused. I like when she randomly sings “This is how I do-oo-oo” but besides that I never really get into it. “When we touch, I melt like butter” is the only line worth remembering.

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97. From the Bottom of my Broken Heart (…Baby One More Time)

This was never one of my favorites. Despite being released as a single, it never really did anything. The most interesting thing about it is that the guy who directed the video used to do porn. This is about as far from hardcore as it gets, more like… apple core?

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96. One Kiss From You (Oops!...I Did It Again)

Cute, but underwhelming considering the strength of some of the other songs on Oops!. A step up from ...Baby One More Time (the album, not the single), but still not quite there.

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95. Rock Boy (Circus)

With a little more work, this song could’ve been pretty good. As it is, all the pieces individually suffice, but they don’t work well together. A different sound than the rest of Circus, this track is a little more rock in the background but the vocals are as processed as ever. Britney has done ok experimenting with other styles, but truly shines on her dance pop tracks, and this can’t keep the pace.

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94. Big Fat Bass (Femme Fatale)

This song is actually cool, but there a couple reasons I do not like it. One: It was written and produced solely by Will.i.am and true B fans are not exactly enamored with the works he’s contributed to her catalog (I refuse to include “Scream and Shout” on this list, because, just, no). Two: My one friend one time in all seriousness texted me and said: “I can’t believe Britney has a song called “Big Fat Ass” that seems a little too far” and I still LOL every time I hear this song and think of that. Despite all this, still a fun club track. So ready for the kick drum!

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93. Rock Me In (Circus)

A bonus track to Circus that is peppy and enjoyable, but not anything particularly memorable. You can sure get a little shake going but the chorus is nothing to write home about.

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92. Let Me Be (Britney)

A thematically similar song to “What U See (Is What U Get)” that doesn’t quite pull it off in the same way. Britney continues to be a strong, independent woman as she is through much of Britney (except that part where she’s a slave but that’s got to be symbolic, right?) and another writing credit under her belt! “Dear Diary” days are far behind her.

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91. Trip To Your Heart (Femme Fatale)

The production elements of this are a little too much, I kinda feel like I’m going through the production line at a factory and being smashed and pulverized into something. When she starts doing all the “Trip to your…” parts, it’s sort of a poor man’s version of the opening to “Heaven on Earth”. It belongs on Femme Fatale, but not near the top of this list (but, hey, this is a very competitive list).

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90. Quicksand (Circus)

A track co-written by none other than Lady Gaga, “Quicksand” is a decent mid-tempo jam that can hold its own with the other tracks on Circus. The best part is near the end when some of the heavier production elements drop out and we get a little more personal with Brit. Still not a great track in terms of Britney’s catalog – I’ve never cried to it so it can’t be that good.

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89. Don’t Keep Me Waiting (Femme Fatale)

Give a girl credit – she did try to add a more rock song to this endless stream of dance pop bliss, but it’s not really Britney’s sound or feel. Even earlier in her career, it was all pop and I’m not sure how this one fits in. It’s a pretty good song nonwithstanding (I mean, it is Britney after all, so she made it work), but I’m not sure it can hold its own against her other jams.

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88. Early Mornin’ (In The Zone)

I never warmed up to this song, mostly because I think she can do better than this at being sultry. It sounds a lttle forced here and the track overall just seems a little disorganized. Like where did that “Shoo wop, shoo wop” come from? It’s a weird synth jazz number. “Blur” will later do a much better job at getting across the message of this song.

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87. Born to Make You Happy (…Baby One More Time)

Though the song itself sends a weird, subservient message about womanhood (“I was born to make you happy”, no, Britney, you were born to slay the stage like the Legend you are), “Born to Make You Happy” is inoffensive and there is little to dislike about it (except that it was chosen to be on the standard version of the album over my beloved “Autumn Goodbye”, but some day the pain will heal).

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86. Girl in the Mirror (Oops!...I Did It Again)

A not all together horrible track , there is not too much to note in this song except that Britney is sad and that is never good. Also, is this a nod to “Man in the Mirror” by MJ? They probably could’ve spent a little more time on it if so, but I guess it was only released internationally so NBD.

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85. Bombastic Love (Britney)

Serious credit again for experimenting a little, but this one doesn’t totally work for me. It feels kind of stop and go – I’m about to get into it and then it fizzles. Also, I really just want to know if Britney can define “bombastic” (because, really, does anyone use that in conversation?). The choir in the background is cool – makes me wish she’d go all out with a cover of “Like a Prayer” (one of the few covers I’d actually enjoy).

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84. That’s Where You Take Me (Britney)

A fit for this album, but nothing special. Some nice rhymes (co-written by Britney!) but not too much else to discuss. I do like to pretend that the place referenced in “Take Me There” by Blackstreet & Mya is the same place that Britney is taken (maybe it’s a Taco Bell or a KFC?), but I guess we’ll never know.

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83. How I Roll (Femme Fatale)

It sounds like the production team tried a whole bunch of new stuff with this song, and results are inconclusive. The sounds are all over the goddamn place (if “Get Back” sampled one sound from a Bop it! Extreme, this song has all five) but the lyrics are so silly that it’s fun to sing along (“I wanna go, downtown where my posse’s at, because I got, nine lives like a kitty cat”) and we all want to roll like Britney so we listen carefully.

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82. Blur (Circus)

If Blackout was the soundtrack to Britney’s party days, “Blur” is her reflecting on the aftermath. This is the more pop version of “Early Mornin’” and is an overall better track, but songs about regret are not Britney’s forte (excluding “Everytime”). She is the life of the party, and hearing her question her decisions clashes with the let’s-get-buckwild girl in most of her post Britney music. I’d still never skip this song if it came on (just “For The Record”).

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81. He About to Lost Me (Femme Fatale)

This song is not my cup of tea, but it’s a solid effort for an artist who specializes in sweaty club tracks. It’s sort of personal and relatable, but without a writing credit to Brit’s name, I’m not sure how much that really matters. Not quite uptempo enough for the clubs and not slow enough to induce sadness, it’s still an enjoyable listen and excellent compared to the bonus tracks on the last couple albums.

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80. Chaotic (Britney & Kevin: Chaotic)

Ugh. I have to hate this song on principle, because it is so closely related to and representative of her ill-fated time with K-Fed, but it’s really not all that bad. Chaotic is an understatement to describe their relationship and her life at this point. I’m resisting the urge to watch clips form the accompanying show “Chaotic” because it still hurts too much. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

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79. Where Are You Now (Oops!...I Did It Again)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkvV4gXPrKs

A step up from the ballads on ...Baby One More Time, but still not quite there yet. Doesn’t totally jive with the stronger girl vibe on the record, but a nice addition to Oops! (that even has an instrumental section for a whole ten seconds or so! So experimental). Ballad Britney is stepping up her game (more to come).

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78. The Hook Up (In The Zone)

Cool, reggae jam that’s not out of place on this more urban album, but doesn’t totally make me think Britney. Like I get that she’s exploring new sounds, but she’s still from Louisiana, you know? It’d be like if Andrea Bocelli decided to rap. Well, that’s an extreme example, but I’m pretty sure there’s very little reggae in Kentwood, mahn.

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77. I Run Away (Britney)

A decent slower jam released as a bonus track to Britney. It’s actually a little heart-wrenching, I’m not used to this level of emotion from my main girl. There’s some weird electronic stuff in the breakdown that I can’t even figure out if I like, but the part where they go to just her and guitar for a second is a nice break from the non-stop production (even if only for a second).

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76. I’ve Just Begun (Havin’ my Fun) (Greatest Hits: My Prerogative)

This song is pretty good, but it appears on Britney’s first Greatest Hits album and it doesn’t quite keep up with monster jams that appear on there. It touches on a lot of similar themes to her other work (I’m free, I’m gonna have fun, get naked), but doesn’t really do anything too special. From the same producers as “Toxic” as well, and how can they ever match that?

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75. Don’t Let Me Be The Last To Know (Oops!...I Did It Again)

A somewhat out-of-place selection for fourth single from Oops! after the smashes that preceded it (I guess they needed to select at least one ballad), this song doesn’t do much for anyone and is one of the weaker tracks on Oops! if you ask me. However, Britney looks slammin’ in this vid and I’ve heard some incredible dance remixes, so not all hope is lost. Also, fun fact! Shania Twain co-wrote it.

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74. And Then We Kiss (Junkie XL Remix) (B in the Mix: The Remixes)

A song only released as a part of a remix compilation album (her every career move is so fascinating), “And Then We Kiss” has a smooth sound and probably would’ve done well in its original version (which exists somewhere on the Internet). Still, it’s kind of random to have a remix of a song you never actually released included with remixes to her biggest singles. A dance-y, uncomplicated listen.

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73. Up n’Down (Femme Fatale)

A cute, bouncy jam that gets you gyrating, “Up n’Down” is the first bonus track on the deluxe version of Femme Fatale and Britney is keeping the dance vibe going for sure. She somehow manages to be sexy and sweet at the same time (“I know you want me, like kids want candy”), a feat only the legendary Miss Spears could accomplish.

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72. Thinkin’ About You (…Baby One More Time)

Unobjectionable teenybopper song that sounds like a toned down version of “Soda Pop” and lays the groundwork for all of Taylor Swift’s work (“I spend my days…with you. I spend my nights…thinking about you.”) Fits nicely with the sound of her first record.

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71. Mannequin (Circus)

I really liked this song the first time I heard it, but the more I listened to it, it lost a little bit of its appeal. The beat is awesome, but the lyrics really don’t make any sense and sometimes I have a hard time getting over it (unless the song is a true masterpiece like ‘If You Seek Amy”). I’m not sure how love is like a mannequin, but I’ll take Brit’s word for it and dance my ass off anyway.

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70. Deep In My Heart (…Baby One More Time)

Only released on the international version of the album, “Deep in My Heart” follows the standard mold for the teen pop tracks included on …Baby One More Time – bounce, pep, step, etc. Still relentlessly catchy and an affirmation of Britney’s love of the word “heart” (3 of 12 tracks on BOMT have the word in the title). It’d make a good swing dance number at a wedding reception (future husbands, take note).

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69. Someday (I Will Understand) (Britney & Kevin: Chaotic)

SOLE writing credits for Miss Britney Jean herself AND she even played the piano on this track. This was the last true ballad we’d get from the pop diva, and it’s pretty strong (especially considering the turmoil in her personal life at the time). It’s still got the mixing and is not as simple as “Everytime”, but it’s an underappreciated Britney slow song. Good for a rainy day.

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68. Anticipating (Britney)

Britney’s second shot at songwriting is much improved – coming through with a song that is pure fun and dance. It reminds me a lot of “All For You” by Janet, but even more pop and merry. It’s also a reminder that she is, even at this point in her career three albums in, just 19, and still just wants to go out and dance with her girlfriends. I’m 23 and I still feel like that (and I have no albums).

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67. Seal It With a Kiss (Femme Fatale)

At first I thought I’d put this song lower, but once you get past the awkwardness of the beginning, the song is adorable. The chorus is the adult version of Britney’s teenybopper days (“Cross my heart and hope to die, Keep a secret me and you, And seal it with a kiss ooo-ooo-ooo”) and melts my stone cold heart (ok it’s not that stone cold, more like best served when chilled). The breakdown is funky and fresh without being too overbearing. It’ll be in your head for the rest of the day (love when that happens with a Britney song).

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66. Lonely (Britney)

This track reminds me of a lot of Oops! with a slightly more rock edge. It has a similar theme – it pretty much picks up where “Don’t Go Knockin’ On My Door” left off from the last album – obviously intentional. She plans so meticulously! It’s the start of something new for Britney so it gets a good spot.

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65. Trouble For Me (Femme Fatale)

Like “Seal It With a Kiss”, this song doesn’t really find its footing until the chorus, but it truly takes off from there. “But if you want my love, you can only find it on the dance floor” So true about Brit. Her home is the dance floor and that’s where she’s charmed the pants right off us (or should I say, charmed the orange body suit right onto us). A much-improved version of “Trouble” from Circus.

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64. Perfect Lover (Blackout)

On any other album, this would be a standout, but with every track on Blackout being so unimaginably strong, this one doesn’t quite keep up. It’s still delicious and continues Brit’s indomitable streak of breathy, orgasmic thumping dance tracks throughout this album. “You’re the best baby, you’ve got me obsessed” – exactly what I want to tell Britney after I finished listening to this album.

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63. Autumn Goodbye (…Baby One More Time)

This song holds a special place in my heart – I owned the cassette tape for the single version of “…Baby One More Time” and this was the b-side. This song was so full of energy and joy, but also tremendous sadness that I didn’t know how to feel as an eight-year-old. I just knew that it was good. I don’t know why it wasn’t on the standard version, it sooo could’ve been a single, and every September equinox when autumn comes around you know this is the anthem.

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62. Perfume (Britney Jean)

The follow-up to “Work Bitch”, “Perfume” is somewhere between an emotional ballad about a philandering lover and a fragrance commercial. Did Jason have someone else? I can’t possibly bear the thought so I’m just going to pretend it never crossed my mind. At first I really wasn’t a fan of this song, but with each listen it has grown on me and now I’m pretty much on the verge of an emotional breakdown. And I’ve never even worn perfume (except for the times at the department store when I use the Britney perfume testers).

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61. I Will Be There (…Baby One More Time)

The strongest non-single track on BOMT (IMO) and another Max Martin masterpiece, "IWBT" is great because it is non-specific in its support (you could sing it to family, friends, lovers, random passersby). Impossible not to feel good listening to this track.

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60. Shadow (In The Zone)

For In The Zone, this is pretty much a ballad. It’s pretty sad, in fact, which is also something weird for this album. Also, the shadow is a metaphor and Britney co-wrote this song so I am so proud of her and her use of literary devices. Hopefully one day she’ll write a novel! “The Perks of Being Britney” or “A Tale of Two Britneys”. Something deep and profound and/or slightly British (she’s got the accent down already).

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59. Lace and Leather (Circus)

I really didn’t like this song when I first heard it, but now I can’t get enough. “Fantasy, courtesy of me, baby let’s go” you betta work bitch! This song is scrumptious, serving up Brit’s legendary sex appeal with a side of perfect production. During her live performance on the Femme Fatale tour she would bring an audience member on stage and wrap her legs right around them. I’m grateful I wasn’t picked because I would literally have nothing to live for after that.

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58. Out From Under (Circus)

At this point in Britney’s career, every sung word is processed to the edge of its life, so this about as ballad-y as it gets. It’s gentle like a lullaby, but pretty profound and introspective for an artist whose credits include “Get Naked” (sorry I’ll just never get over the title). This is the most emotion that’s come from a Britney song since “Everytime” and the lyrics are pretty relatable even for us peasants. Well done production team. “I don’t want to feel the pain, what good would it do me now?” Ugh, so true.

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57. Brave New Girl (In The Zone)

This song comes out of nowhere on In The Zone – I’m not sure if it’s funky, freaky or fun, but any which way, it’s fantastic. The track sounds cute and bouncy, but don’t let it fool you, the lyrics are super racy. “Let’s get a room boy, come and ride with me”. Get it, Britney. She’s gonna be brave and thrive in her sexuality (or just bop around the club until she finds a guy to make out with, but that is sort of empowering in a way).

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56. Gasoline (Femme Fatale)

“You settin’ me on fire” You damn well are girl. Britney lights it up and burns it down with jam – this track is slick like gasoline and continues the playful, pounding romp through Femme Fatale. Per usual, the dance floor is heating up when this comes on and most likely will lead to some disrobing (I mean, you did just get set on fire). Also, how crazy do you go when Britney says “Damn, boy”?!? I need a cold shower.

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55. Showdown (In The Zone)

“Am I too hot for you though? Did you check out my video?” This album is strong, confident, sexy Britney and this track is her at her combative finest. Bring it on, boys (if only K-Fed hadn’t answered the call). A little more uptempo than some of the other tracks on the album, “Showdown” combines her newfound edginess with some of her older, pop beats. Magic.

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54. Break The Ice (Blackout)

The video for this is animated and I have to admit – I still haven’t watched it all the way through. Far, far too painful. The song has got some serious synth dance pop flow and the chorus leads beautifully right up to her breathy climax (make of that what you will). There’s an intensity that builds through all of Blackout and tracks like this only heighten the mood. Her least promoted single but still one of her finest.

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53. Get Naked (I Got A Plan) (Blackout)

Intiailly I thought this song would just have to be lower. It’s about as subtle as a punch to the face and makes me feel like I just spent a week at the bathhouse. I can’t help but get into it though, this song is just so – hot. I want to slither around like the snake around Britney’s neck at the 2001 VMAs and grope things when I hear it (best to do this in the comfort of your own home I’ve learned). The call and response is absolutely brilliant and even though this guy’s voice is about as natural as Joan Rivers’ face, I still want to gyrate all around while he whispers the lyrics in my ear.

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52. Cinderella (Britney)

A worthy successor to “Lucky” that didn’t make much noise, “Cinderella” is another story about a girl, except this time the girl isn’t a representation of Britney. Well, maybe she is, but there was never a video to explain it to me so I’m not really sure. Any which way, this song will get you up out your seat and belting along (I’m not sure if we’re mad at the guy or Cinderella, but just don’t worry about it too much).

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51. (Drop Dead) Beautiful (Femme Fatale)

This bangin’ club jam includes some of her best wordplay yet (“And yeah your body looks so sick I think I caught the flu”) and a tight rap feature by Sabi (the way she says vegetables is iconic “vegtablues”). This song is so processed it doesn’t even really sound like Britney anymore, but I can’t help but love it anyway – if only we could all have the confidence to tell that hot guy at the bar just how smokin’ he is. My usual strategy in life is to let Britney do the talking and that is no different here.

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50. Mona Lisa (Britney & Kevin: Chaotic)

“It’s kind of incredible” - a lyric from this song that describes it perfectly. Britney’s coos are seductive, sultry, and superb. Britney is our Mona Lisa – we all crowd around to get a glimpse and, in many ways, she’s been stolen a few times from us. The only difference is that we are always watching Britney rather than vice versa. If only this song had gotten the proper promotion, it could’ve been a smash.

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49. Shattered Glass (Circus)

My life would be shattered if Britney was no longer a part of it, so I really identify with this song. The vocals are right where she excels – soft and girly but still in your face (“If you think you’re hurting, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet”). Who in their right mind would cheat on Britney? He better hope is name is never revealed because B fans would get cray on his philandering ass.

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48. Ooh La La (The Smurfs 2)

Sorry I’m not sorry that I love this song. It’s TOO. CUTE. Screw “My Baby” – this is the song Brit’s boys really wanted. It’s electropop cheesecake and it’s so rich and scrumptious and I can never get enough. This is the type of teeny bop fun that Britney served up a decade before and she is totally reviving the genre. And this video? So many awwww’s. Brit is obviously the coolest mom ever already but now she’s got her boys starring roles? Mom of the year for sure.

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47. Outrageous (In The Zone)

This song is probably better than I give it credit for and should be even higher on the list, but it’s marred by its association with her breakdown. If you look back, her troubles really started when she injured her knee while shooting the video for this song and had to cancel the Onyx Hotel Tour (which gave her much too much time to spend with her new boy toy Kevin, heard of him?). Things got “Chaotic” after that and pretty soon she had two kids and four years since her last album. Minus points for being written by R Kelly, but bonus points for maximum slut drop potential.

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46. Boys (Britney)

The beat is sick and the lyrics produce feverish religious responses (Boys, sometimes a girl just needs one – AMEN). It didn’t totally destroy the charts though and I think the video was part of the problem. It seems gimmicky with all these extra people, and Britney doesn’t need that with the kind of talent she’s got. Every video should just be her being gorgeous and flawless. Save the money and don’t pay for backup dancers. Britney dancing with Austin Powers is kinda painful, but the track is banging beyond belief and oh so true.

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45. Do Somethin’ (Greatest Hits: My Prerogative)

This song is my Britney guilty pleasure. I mean, the whole thing is absurd and camp and I love it. I die when she gets feisty and her endless taunts drive me crazy (Britney reference!). Also, the video? Beyond. The dance moves are ridiculous and the entire thing kind of looks like an outtake reel from White Chicks. It’s banned from Europe because the car is outfitted with Louis Vuitton interiors. Everyone knows it’s got to be good to get banned. When I want to turn my brain off, this is my jam.

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44. Unusual You (Circus)

The singles from Circus are so amazing, it’s easy to ignore the rest of the album, but this is a standout track. “Did so many things when I was someone else, boxer in the ring tryin’ to defend myself” – Britney is so thoughtful and philosophical, I like can’t even handle it. They should teach this in universities. She’s had too much heartbreak and heartache for someone so sweet and sugary (ignoring “Get Naked”) and I hope she finally finds comfort in her new angelic man (but if he does end up breaking her heart, at least we’ll get another “Everytime” and I can’t complain about that).

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43. Selfish (Femme Fatale)

One of the best bonus tracks of any album, “Selfish” is all about B FINALLY putting herself my first. I mean, after a decade of providing us commoners with musical ecstasy, it’s time she thought about herself a little bit right? I love when she gets controlling and she is all over this boy in this song. “Shut up, sit down, who’s the boss now? I’m ‘bout to show you now”. GET IT. Boys beware, Britney is on the prowl, and she is serving up sex goddess realness.

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42. Phonography (Circus)

This ode to phone sex is a bumpin’ Circus bonus track that sizzles. Britney has spent her last couple albums cooing and purring into all these tracks so it makes sense that she’d finally take up being a phone sex mistress. I mean who wouldn’t want to hear these sensuous autotuned moans on the other end of the line? “And I make no apologies, I’m into phonography” Soooo freaking good. If this music thing doesn’t work, Britney should be a phone sex line operator, because she could charge some serious cash.

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41. Criminal (Femme Fatale)

The addition of the flute is random, but I can’t help but love “Criminal”. It’s synth heaven and makes me feel weirdly loved and warm and cherished (mostly during the bridge). “And he’s got my name, tattooed on his arm, his lucky charm” I find it oddly endearing even though it’s mostly just stalkerish and crazy (Britney, how do you do the things you do?). I even have a soft spot for the video – good for her for doing a little acting (and the Academy Award goes to… Lucky!) and for bringing her real life beau. They are so matrix near the end – it’s beyond. And points for looking beautiful (drop dead)!

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40. I Got That (Boom Boom) (In The Zone)

“Shawty, we gonna go to the club and get crunk with Britney!” LOL, what? Where did that come from? Britney is really going for a new sound here and it’s awesome. This is not even pop anymore, but it’s cool and different and exciting for someone who’s already done three very similar albums. “This is for all those southern boys out there!” About time girl, represent! This is a different type of dance-y from her previous offerings – more seductive and sensual than ever before. Britney owns it and we are inferior.

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39. Freakshow (Blackout)

Britney is getting straight up S & M on this track and I want to enter her dungeon (or pleasure palace, or whatever she supposedly had in her basement). I don’t know what that sound effect is called that goes on in the background, but let’s be real it is a straight up WHIP (along with some dubstep, SOOOO groundbreaking). Queen B has been dominating this whole record and now she’s fully embraced her role as sexbot, freakshow Dominatrix, ruler of the underworld. Long live the Queen.

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38. Me Against the Music (In The Zone)

“Are you ready?” Britney teases us right from the start of this album. There is some sick choreography in this video (Oh, and MADONNA), but I don’t think these two are greater than the sum of their parts. I love that so-fast-I’m-not-sure-what-you’re-saying-but-it-sounds-sexy-anyway part that Britney does, yet for featuring two superstars the song did not take off like it should’ve. Nothing will ever top their 2003 VMA kiss performance so maybe they just set the bar too high. Also, let's be real, their not perfection is still miles ahead of the competition.

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37. What It’s Like To Be Me (Britney)

Definitely the best thing to come out of Britney and Justin’s relationship (besides the matching denim outfits at the 2000 AMAs). This track is slick, sleek, and sexy. Co-written by JT and Wade Robson (way too much there to explain), Stella could definitely get her groove back to this song. Enjoy this one because it will likely be the only time the two will collab. B-b-b-breakdown!

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36. Scary (Femme Fatale)

If this track doesn’t get you dancing, I don’t understand you. I feel like I was deprived of valuable time with this song because it was only released on certain deluxe additions, and it is one of Brit’s best ever bonus tracks. It bumps and grinds and makes me want to put on a sexy Halloween costume. What more could you ask for? It’s irreverent and catchy as sin. “I think I need some hypnotherapy” because I cannot handle how amazing this song is.

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35. Piece of Me (Blackout)

Finally, Britney talks back through the music (and not screaming in a British accent at the paparazzi). She’s been through some serious stuff since her last album and it’s about time she confronts the media (with song and dance!). This song isn’t even one of my favorites on Blackout but I still throw down and get riled up to it. Those background sex noises are dynamite. The video is not great, but it got three apology VMAs (seriously though, nothing for “Toxic”? That’s the biggest snub since “Like a Prayer” didn’t win any Grammys) and solidified Brit’s VMA legend status.

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34. I Wanna Go (Femme Fatale)

An exciting uptempo track off Femme Fatale (that makes generous use of aututone), “I Wanna Go” was a solid third single that forces you to let your hair down and have a little fun. The lyrics to the song are pretty silly, but Britney has now moved past her sexbot stage and is all about a good time. The video pokes fun at some of the more ridiculous rumrs surrounding Brit’s life (while also being completely random) and shows that even the Queen B keeps a sense of humor about her life. Also, props to whoever came up with putting “Crossroads 2: Cross Harder” on the theater marquee – loves it.

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33. Kill The Lights (Circus)

There’s no denying Britney has experienced an unprecedented level of media attention throughout her life and career (she redefined the era of celebrity, but that’s a whole extra analysis), and thankfully for us, it has produced some of her finest work. A “Piece of Me”-esque jam that deals with the endless fascination of photographers with the every minute detail of Britney’s life, “Kill the Lights” gives Brit another opportunity to demand respect and attention at the same time. Also, the bridge is so dramatic and legendary that I’ve almost burst into tears a couple times listening to it, and I’m not at all ashamed.

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32. Toy Soldier (Blackout)

“Comin’ back, lookin’ delicious, yes I know they wanna kiss me” Yes, yes, and YES. Playful and peppy, Britney laments the lack of real men in her life over a bangin’ steel drum beat and slays in the process. The days of K-Fed are long since over and it’s time for Brit to find someone who’s deserving (though let’s be real, no one ever truly will be). This is like “I’ll Make A Man Out of You” if the roles had been reversed and Mulan had been in charge and looking for a husband. Britney is a goddess on the prowl in this song who commands her sound and sexuality.

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31. Before the Goodbye (Britney)

Deceptively brilliant bonus track from Britney that combines Britney’s newfound ballability (that’s ballad ability, I just made it up!) with her devotion to dance anthems. A soft beginning eventually leads to a thumping beat and a semi-drop near the end that will come to define (her) music later in her career. This should’ve made it onto the regular album, it’s a dance smash. It’s lighter than the pop tracks from Blackout, but darker than ...Baby One More Time. It’s everything.

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30. Breathe On Me (In The Zone)

I feel like I can’t even write about this song it’s so filthy, but that’s exactly why I love it. “Just put your lips together and blow” SUBTLE. Subtlety has never been Brit’s strong suit though and here she is having sex in lyrical form. It’s intense yet gentle, so she’s somewhere between sex and lovemaking. This song obliterated any last notion that Brit had an ounce of innocence and made me very confused about how sex actually works (turns out the song is not literal).

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29. What U See (Is What U Get) (Oops!...I Did It Again)

Britney’s first foray into self-empowerment, “What U See” is another slice of pop heaven off Oops!. It’s pretty straightforward, but that’s the idea of the song. Moreover, it gets you moving and offers the deepest message from a Britney song at that point in her career. “If you want, don’t forget, you should take me as I am, cause I can promise you, baby what you see is what you get” – you tell em, Brit!

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28. Sometimes (…Baby One More Time)

An absolutely adorable and killer first ballad (and this is about as ballad-y as Britney gets throughout her career) and a solid follow-up to “…Baby One More Time”, “Sometimes” is an easy listen that makes me want to curl up with a loved one and design coordinating all-white outfits. I just hope they shot the video before Labor Day.

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27. Touch of My Hand (In The Zone)

Dayum girl, don’t hold back! Britney pleasures herself while she pleasures us with this jam about discovering your own body. I guess Britney is finished spending time moping over her broken heart and is exploring the more physical pleasures. Good for her! She’s learning to be independent in so many ways.

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26. Heaven on Earth (Blackout)

Britney herself said that this is her favorite track off Blackout (in her one awkward promotional interview) and for good reason – it’s awesome. The name says it all – “Heaven on Earth”. The opening lines flow out of her mouth smooth like silk and she takes sigh-singing into previously uncharted waters. This is the sexed-up version of “I Will Always Love You” (where she dropped the guy and made it all about her and her devastating beauty). “I fall off the edge off the mind” – so deep and philosophical, I’d bet she’s the Aristotle of Kentwood.

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25. Work Bitch (Britney Jean)

I was debating whether to include “Work Bitch” on this list at all – it may take a full listen of Britney Jean to understand how this track fits on the album and with Britney’s new sound. She’s mostly given up singing with this song – it’s mostly about her commands and demands and it’s downright motivational. Love her embracing this gay catchphrase (she understands her fan base so well) but it’s hard to match her other lead singles from each album. Still, “Work Bitch” demonstrates a clear understanding of EDM and its place in pop music, and since it’s the greatest work power anthem since “She Works Hard for The Money”, I rock out to it at every possible opportunity. That beat has gotten me through many long days at work already.

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24. My Prerogative (Greatest Hits: My Prerogative)

I admit, this is the one time Britney did a cover and absolutely knocked it out of the park. Bobby Brown and Britney both definitely had their share of personal struggles, but they owned it and don’t give a damn what y’all think about it. This song suits Britney and this stage of her career so perfectly it’s almost scary. Bring it, media! This song defines the next few years of her life and career. Keep in mind – this was the title track off her greatest hits album, which she released at 22. TWENTY. TWO. Hard to believe someone could establish a legacy so quickly (except not really because we’re talking about the incredible ligo, the queen of pop Britney Spears). Every hook, every beat, was already stamped in our brains forever. And now she nailed the cover. Is there anything she can’t do? (No).

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23. Radar (Blackout AND Circus)

In one of her more peculiar career moves, Britney released “Radar” on both Blackout and as a bonus track to Circus (huh?). No matter what album it belongs to, this track is killer. The production value is off the charts and we all know what it’s like to got your eye on that someone we just can’t let get away (“Intoxicate me, I’m a lush” yes please). This jam holds a special place in my heart thanks to a friend who was obsessed with it and made me see the light, but I think all would agree it’s a classic. The video is pretty boring, but there are lots of hot guys and Britney is totally Kentucky Derby ready with that hat. “So hot, so hot” indeed.

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22. Don’t Go Knockin On My Door (Oops!... I Did It Again)

A quote-un-quote filler track on Oops! that totally could’ve held its own as a single. This song is pop perfection – somewhere between outright dance-y and a headbobber, “Don’t Go Knockin’” reiterates her position on the opening single from the album. Britney’s no longer the little girl we knew from ...Baby One More Time and she’s not going to buy your bull anymore. Instead of a doorbell, this song will play when someone hits the buzzer outside my door (when I have money to afford luxuries like that).

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21. Hot As Ice (Blackout)

Don’t let the name fool you – this track is on fire. Britney stomps and prowls and purrs and slaughters bitches. “I’m the teacher, you can learn” damn right she is. “If you’ve ever been to heaven, this is twice and nice” WAIT BUT A FEW TRACKS AGO THERE WAS A SONG ABOUT HEAVEN AND THIS IS SOMEHOW TWICE AS GOOD. Also T-Pain does backup vocals on this record so you know it’s autotune heaven and I need to literally cool myself down after listening to it. Also, all hail, Britney, Queen of Irony (Ice is, in fact, not hot, but Brit obviously is).

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20. Inside Out (Femme Fatale)

A standout non-single track on Femme Fatale, “Inside Out” ebbs and flows and slays – perfect production complimented with Britney’s playful tone and lyrics. Just sit back and let the smooth beat slide all over you and make all your electropop dreams come true. “Let’s just give it up and get down, and get down, and get down” Seriously, just let it all go and slink around your life to this. This song would’ve made a killer single/video but sometimes we just know better than Britney’s management team does.

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19. I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet a Woman (Britney)

Even though it produces a lot of dumb responses (“Not a girl? Not a woman? What is she then?”), this song is Britney’s best ballad at this point in her career. A nice compliment to the more dance-y I’m-a-young-woman-who-wants-to-figure-everything-out-on-my-own-leave-me-alone-Lynn-and-Larry-Rudolph themed “Overprotected”, the song has a very memorable video for a slow Britney jam (most of the other ballad videos are forgettable but THOSE ABS). Great for karaoke, except that no one can ever match the Princess of Pop herself.

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18. (You Drive Me) Crazy (…Baby One More Time)

I went back and forth on what video to include here – this is not technically the album version, but “The Stop Remix” which was used for the movie Drive Me Crazy (ugh, stress!). Anyway, why is Melissa Joan Hart in this video? No offense, Clarissa, but every moment you’re on screen is a moment wasted when we could see the Queen’s epic dancing. Either way, this song offers the first glimpses of Britney’s fascination with the word “baby” (see: opening line) and with chair dancing (see video: 1:51). Mostly though, it solidified Britney’s ability to deliver insanely catchy, dance-y tracks.

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17. 3 (The Singles Collection)

The sole new contribution to her second greatest hits album The Singles Collection – “3” is a club-thumping, booty popping anthem to the ménage a trios. It burned up the charts like crazy and gave Brit her most random record (shortest song title to reach #1 LOL). Her weave looks a little ratchet in the video but I love the black and white and her flawless hair flips. Also, as a huge Peter, Paul, & Mary fan, this song makes my day every time I listen to it. How could someone make a song that sounds so innocently playful that alludes to a threesome and possibly a foursome? Only the goddess Britney.

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16. Ooh Ooh Baby (Blackout)

I honestly don’t understand how, but B didn’t peak until ten songs into this album because everything is so out of this world but. This. Is. It. I just…melt. When I’m singing the verses I can just sense the chorus about to burst in and transport me into a world of dance pop ecstasy. It straddles the edge of overproduction but manages to catch itself right at the perfect balance of Britney’s naturally seductive voice coming through the deep breaths and raspy moans. “Your voice is like music to my ears” Took the words right out of my mouth girl.

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15. Lucky (Oops!... I Did It Again)

Foreshadowing much? Britney’s personal problems would overshadow her music for years, but before that we had this gem that revealed the struggles of being a star. How could someone be so sad when there is glitter sprinkling down on them? It doesn’t seem logical to me, but Britney knows better than I do. She is so lucky, why does she cry? I’m never sure if I should be weeping or giddily happy during this song, but I love it anyway. The second single off Oops! and another universally loved anthem.

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14. Can’t Make You Love Me (Oops!...I Did It Again)

This will always be one of life’s greatest mysteries to me – why was this song not a bigger hit? It’s incredible. If this had been a single, I would’ve bought enough copies myself to send it to #1. I sing it literally every day to my boyfriends at the gym (and thankfully they still do not love me yet, so I can still sing it to them!). It’s more catchy than malaria and the breakdown changed my life (“just the thought of being close to you… it’s incomparable!” TEAR). If I had my say, this would be #1 from Oops! and top 5 from Britney all-time. Alas, this song went the route of “fetch” and never happened. Live performances are few and far between (are there any?) and it will always be in the shadow of the singles from Oops!. I compromised and put it here, but it will always hold a special place in Britney’s favorite thing – my heart.

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13. Overprotected (Britney)

Overprotected – underrated. A classic Britney jam that never got the credit it deserved. C’mon, how can you not pound your first at those four beats in the beginning? It actually has a message we can all relate to – taking control of our lives and getting what we want out of them. They should play this at the beginning of every motivational speech or church sermon or as a theme to “Breaking Amish”.

This song has all the ingredients of a great Britney song – upbeat, fun, motivational without being challenging. Gimme more (double entendre, hope Brit is proud!).

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12. Womanizer (Circus)

Insanely, ridiculously, unnaturally catchy, this song was Britney’s true comback to the spotlight. Her first No. 1 single since “…Baby One More Time” (I know, SAY WHAT?!?) it re-established her as the reigning queen of pop. Despite repeating the name a bunch of times throughout the song (I tried to count but kept losing track around 25), she gets her message across – boy do not front, I know just what you are (a paparazzo who I have no business hanging out with). Circus is a lighter follow-up to Blackout in which she continues to be a bad bitch who chases no man. The video is not the sequel to “Toxic” that we would’ve all hoped for, but we know Britney loves her wigs so I can’t hate on it. And though her dance moves aren’t what they used to be, she looks KILLER in that sauna. She truly has perfected the sweaty look.

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11. If You Seek Amy (Circus)

YASSSSSS. Literally what I scream through this whole song and video. Infectious beyond belief, “Amy” is Britney being fun and irreverent and not giving a damn about what anyone thinks of her because she knows that everyone wants her. EVERYONE. Gay, straight, bi, tri, whatever, no one can resist her charms. Max Martin truly nailed it this time, combining thumping beats and Britney’s smoking hot purr to produce a standout track on Circus and from Britney’s career. The double entendre just takes this bumping track into the pop stratosphere. Britney’s golden globes look ravishing in this video and she flips her hair and gyrates like the diva she is. Also, this is some kind of reverse pop star experience and I love it. She starts out skankalicious and transforms into apple pie Brit and the world eats it up. Genius.

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10. I’m a Slave 4 U (Britney)

Britney comes out swinging on her self-titled third album (“I need to do what I feel like doing, so let me go, and just listen”). Everything about this song/video/VMA performance oozes sex and sex appeal and sex and sweat and sex. I mean there is literally a part in this video where somebody licks her face, which I admit is disgusting, but somehow she pulls it off. A more mature sound paired with more provocative choreography made for headlines galore, but the music did most of the talking (“LIKE THAT”). Oops! is old news and she’s not even pretending to be innocent anymore. The VMA performance is definitely her most memorable (even if I’d argue 2000 was even better) – no one will ever forget the visuals. Standing with a tiger in a cage and romping around the stage with a snake around her shoulders? Fearless.

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9. Gimme More (Blackout)

“It’s Britney, bitch”. OMG. OMG. OMG. Was that not your reaction when you first heard this song? The opening line is the most genius and instantly recognizable opening to any song I’ve heard, possibly ever. I could write a thesis about every song on Blackout (they’re all gold) – “Gimme More” being a truly spectacular lead single. It’s the first instance we see of Britney’s sometimes overbearing repetitiveness, but it totally worked and her voice is all breathy and nasty and perfect. It left everyone begging for more. If not for her absolute disaster of a VMA performance in 2007 (which I absolutely refuse to link to), this song would’ve been flawless (ripped fishnets video included).

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8. Circus (Circus)

When this song comes on, you best get up out the way because I’m about to lay it down HARD. This is Britney in her element – she is the consummate performer and center of attention and she belongs nowhere else. “I’m like a ringleader, I call the shots” If there was a circus, Britney would be nothing if not the leader. She has been leading the charge in pop music for almost ten years and she owns her title in this song. The whole album and subsequent tour are driven by this song! It’s beastly. The video is not specatular, but the dancing is good and the song itself is so good that the video is pretty much irrelevant (and she finally has a whip YESSSS). And what better metaphor for Britney’s life is there than a circus?

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7. Stronger (Oops!...I Did It Again)

I have to admit I’m partial to the album Oops!...I Did It Again – besides Blackout, I think it’s my second favorite Britney album, but honestly comparing them is so emotional and difficult that I try not to at all. I mean, “Stronger” as third single? There was an embarrassment of riches on this album. This song was Britney’s first power anthem and motivated countless young girls to leave behind their dumb exes and become CEOs, or at least to get up out of their chair and do a dance with it! I would never challenge Britney to a dance-off or musical chairs. Incredible song and video.

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6. Hold It Against Me (Femme Fatale)

I remember the first time I heard a demo of “Hold It Against Me” and I just knew it was going to be a smash. Pop music changed a great deal from when Brit started – gone are the days of teen queens and a more intense and dark sound prevails. This jam combines all the latest crazes – including dub step which Britney totally put on the map with this song – to create a dance pop masterpiece. I’d include a pic with the count of how many times I’ve played this on my itunes, but everyone would think it was photoshopped anyway so I’ll just tell you – think big. Already the reigning queen of double entendre (see: "If You Seek Amy"), the playful lyrics combine with a booming beat delivers the listener into electronic euphoria. Paradise is right. And the video? Although she is well best her video prime, this one is jam packed with symbolism - an angelic white Britney melting down into multiple colors surrounded by the many songs/videos that capatulted her into fame while doing battle with herself? That’s some next level ish. Legendary.

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5. Everytime (In The Zone)

Finally, a ballad worthy of Brit’s legend status. It’s haunting and beautiful and tragic and more packed with feelings than an episode of "The Bachelor". A response to JT’s “Cry Me A River” (allegedly), “Everytime” is the best apology song ever (granted, that’s not a huge genre) and Brit wrote it herself! (Long gone are the simpler days of “Dear Diary” – that piano riff aahhhh). The shot of her leaving in the stretcher is scarily accurate to what transpired later in her actual life. She’s like a fortune teller - Miss Cleo Spears. I still hold my breath when she sinks in the tub and don’t take another one until she re-emerges at the end of the video. Gives me chills.

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4. Till The World Ends (Femme Fatale)

Seven albums in, one might begin to think Britney could not possibly outdo herself. Well, here it is – the dance anthem of a lifetime. Co-written by none other than Ke$ha (who is featured with Nicki Minaj on the sick nasty remix), this track is inconceivably catchy and demands that you get up out of year seat and dance. This will be the soundtrack to every bar, club, dance competition, wedding, bar mitzvah, pregame for many years to come. The way the beat sinks during the breakdown and then bangs right back into action drives me absolutely wild. The video is mediocre in terms of her track record (to be honest, it makes me a little sad, because if Britney had gotten this track in her prime, the choreography would’ve been out of this world) but she looks great and glows in contrast to the dark underworld behind her. The angel of dance.

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3. Oops! … I Did It Again! (Oops!...I Did It Again)

Oops, she did it again indeed! Another huge album, another major single, another iconic video. Mars never looked so sexy (has Mars ever been sexy? It looks a little dry usually). The latex bodysuit, the choreography, the bellyshirt turtleneck. All instantly recognizable. We also got our first glimpse of Bad Britney (we’d later find out she is definitely not that innocent) and she proved that she not a one album wonder. Also, the VMA performance she gave to this song is my personal all time favorite. To say she killed it is an underestimate – she machine gunned that puppy. I find myself out of breath just watching it. Her dance moves were on point and the look she gives at 4:00 – I just can’t. Ferocious.

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2. …Baby One More Time (…Baby One More Time)

The song that started it all. One of the all time highest selling singles of all time (and her first ever at that!), and for good reason – armed with a killer Max Martin hook and the first of many iconic music video looks from Britney, “Baby One More Time” made Britney an instant star. Her first (and only) Grammy performance and first VMA performance was to this (Precious!), - the birth of an unmatched VMA legacy. Even today, if this comes on at a party/bar/doctor’s office, who isn’t going to sing along? All this done at 17. Historic.

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1. Toxic (In The Zone)

I mean, what is there left to say about this song? The song. The video. Her sole Grammy Award winner. This is it. Her ultimate triumph. Influential. Irreplaceable. Iconic.