1. Someone in New Jersey caught this horrifying creature while fishing.
The only consolation is that it’s dead.
2. OK, what is it?
The leading theory is that it’s a really big sea lamprey, a horrifying parasitic creature that’s scary even when it’s not enormous. But some aren’t convinced: given the limited scope of the photo, it’s impossible to be sure just what that New Jerseyan speared.
3. No, but seriously, what is it?
IT’S A MONSTER.
RUN. SAVE YOURSELVES.