1. There’s nothing better than falling into bed after a long day.
2. But going to sleep isn’t always as easy as putting your head on a pillow.
3. You spend the first hour trying to find a comfortable position that JUST DOESN’T EXIST.
4. Keep at it, you’ll get there. (You won’t.)
8. You’re troubled by daunting existential questions.
9. Or hey, maybe you’re hungry. That’s the problem. You end up eating way more than you should.
10. You reach a point where you stop even trying.
11. You watch TV for hours. Golden Girls reruns. Informercials. Call-in prayer shows.
12. And before you know it, you have to wake up. Even though you STILL HAVEN’T SLEPT.
13. You feel rage. At your alarm clock, at daylight, at yourself.
15. And in the light of day, you realize how haggard you look.
16. You try to explain how you’re feeling, but no one really gets it.
18. You pound coffee, as though that will help. Maybe if you weren’t already a caffeine addict.
25. Everything feels fuzzy and fake, like you’re stuck in a dream.
29. Did someone put something in your coffee? Because you are NOT acting sober.
31. People around you start to get concerned.
32. Finally it’s nighttime again. You know how badly you need to catch up on lost sleep.