1.
Implying that you've slept with everyone is not the best way to make a first impression.
2.
Skinny people get drunk faster.
3.
Did anyone ask you to sing? Then don't sing.
4.
Some people love to stir the pot.
5.
Total neutrality is impossible, no matter how desperately you try.
6.
The morally corrupt will never be redeemed.
7.
A filthy mouth doesn't mean you don't have feelings.
8.
Some husbands are better seen than heard.
9.
Not everyone gets to be interesting.
11.
Stripper classes are the best way to achieve financial independence.
12.
Whenever you play the game of scones, you either win or you die.
13.
The key to a happy marriage is letting him flirt.
14.
Even people who hate each other can have a good time together.
15.
Blondes have more fun.
16.
True love exists. You just have to be English.
17.
We all have thoughts we shouldn't say out loud.
18.
You must never question a recovering alcoholic's sobriety, even when she's not acting sober.
19.
The right people appreciate total honesty.
20.
It's not being bitchy if you're Dutch.
21.
At the end of the day, the classiest people just don't give a shit.
22.
Small animals always steal the show.
