4. You also got tricked into believing “The Time Warp” would be a major part of your college experience.
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5. You retroactively hiss at any mention of Stanfurd, which is how it’s spelled.
6. You speak in acronyms non-Berkeley people don’t understand, like GBC.
12. You took Astro 10 with Filippenko to get rid of that pesky L&S breadth requirement.
14. But you have a deep respect for longstanding legends, like the Happy Happy Happy Man.
15. And Stoney Burke, even though he’s yelled at you for using your cell phone in his presence.
18. And after getting really stoned, you ordered cheesy sticks from West Coast Pizza.
19. You have strong opinions about Blondies vs. Fat Slice, because you’ve drunkenly sampled both.
20. When you were feeling fancy (and sober), you opted for Cheeseboard.
21. You realize that there is better Italian food than Gypsy’s, but you weren’t willing to walk those few extra blocks.
23. But you were willing to travel a bit to get to brunch at the Thai temple on Sunday morning.
26. You’ve consumed 14 different types of alcohol in one night, because, well, it was a room-to-room.
28. And you’ve attended co-op special dinners that you have no recollection of.
31. But mostly AnonCon made you cry, because some asshole said you were the ugliest person on campus.
33. Your heroes include Robert Reich.
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36. You feel weird loyalty to The Counting Crows and Third Eye Blind, just because the lead singers went to Cal.
38. At least one of your relatives will always call it “Berzerkeley.”
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