2. Expectation: My loving family will be so happy to finally have me home.
3. Reality: “We love having you here, just not all the time.”
I wish I was joking when I say my Mom actually said this to me on my very first night home. Turns out they do love us very much, but from afar….
4. Expectation: Find a spectacular summer job because I’m educated.
Of course, I’m still looking for a full-time real job (*cough,cough* Here’s my LinkedIn), but in the meantime I need to make some extra cash. I just graduated from a top university, this shouldn’t be very hard, right?
5. Reality: Get beat out to all the cool short-term jobs by freaking High Schoolers.
Yeah sure they’ll work for minimum wage but do they have a Bachelor’s Degree?? I didn’t think so.
7. Reality: I can’t workout there, I’ll see people I know.
Apparently there is no better place to catch up on someone’s entire life story than when you’re covered in sweat, out-of-breath, and dying on your elliptical.
8. Expectation: All my best friends from home will be back together again!
9. Reality: Everyone either has a real job, a temp job, a vacation, an internship, or basically isn’t coming home ever again.
Will everyone come home please? Or just stop working 9-5 already? That’d be great. Thanks.
10. Expectation: I’ll find so many cool entry-level jobs with my versatile major!
11. Reality: What other experiences could you possibly need from me?
I’m officially starting a protest against any job requiring 10-20 years of experience from being called “entry-level”. I went to college and did countless internships, what else do I have to experience for you people? Then you start being labeled as “over-qualified” and everything is completely downhill from there.
12. Expectation: Home will be just like when I was growing up.
13. Reality: I feel like a stranger in my own home.
While living in your own apartment you buy all the things you like and know where to find everything. Now I’m home and spent all afternoon looking for a chicken breast to cook (which I never found), cilantro to season with (which I never found), my handy sponge-on-a-soap-stick to clean with (which we don’t own), and I found out we don’t have ANY WINE! WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
14. Expectation: My family will be really proud of my accomplishments so far.
15. Reality: I’m asked “Do you have a job yet?” or “What are you going to do next?” 40 thousand times a day
16. Expectation: “I’ll get everything all figured out eventually.”
Everything works out in the end, right? All the pieces come together and all that.
17. Reality: “Is it getting hot in here? I can’t breathe. I DON’T KNOW WHERE MY LIFE IS GOING.”
I’m actually getting fairly skilled at realizing when a panic attack may creep up on me and have learned to just start thinking of something else short term. Mostly food. “I really wonder what I’m going to do with my life….buuuuut not as much as I wonder what I’m having for dinner!”
18. Expectation: I’ll get a tan, take some naps, catch up on Netflix, and do whatever I want for a few months before I land a real job.
19. Reality: I spend all day doing exactly this….while trying desperately to find a job and get out of my parent’s house.
Technically I’ve only been home from college for two full days, but I don’t see this lifestyle changing anytime soon. Give or take the constant job hunting, the daily article writing, and the desire to move out ASAP. This is paradise?