1. Bonnaroo - No Place For Old Ladies?
If you’ve ever been to Bonnaroo, I know you’re impressed with the fact that four old ladies made it through the weekend. Music festival lovers should strive to be this BADASS when we’re that old.
2. 1. Bonnaroo is a BIG MOTHERFUCKER.
Seriously. In 2011, 80,000 people were in attendance. Compare that to 100,000 last year…I’d say there were at minimum 100,000 people again this year.
4. GRANNIES DON’T GIVE A FUCK
“We ain’t worried bout no crowds!”
5. 2. It gets HOT in Tennessee.
Add the fact that you’re camping, have no relief from the sun, you’re surrounded by thousands of hot and stinky people, and humidity is riDICULOUS.
8. BUT THE BONNAROO GRANNIES DON’T GIVE A FUCK
“We’ve been out in this shit all DAY and we’ve still got energy!”
9. 3. The bathroom situation is out of control.
It’s alarming how much of your conversation at Bonnaroo consists of porta-potties, disgusting hygiene issues, porta-potty vandalism, and major shortages of toilet paper and hand sanitizer. For those of you with way too much curiosity on the subject, feel free to click here…but it’s definitely NSFW.
You WILL have to wait in line. That potty WILL be gross. You WILL step inside to a hot bathroom oven.You WON’T want to touch anything.
11. GRANNIES DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT NO PORTA-POTTY
“We mastered the art of hovering DECADES ago!”
12. 4. There is zero chance of feeling clean until you are far away from Bonnaroo.
Yeah, you can pay $5-$7 for a shower. But that water is going to be nothing but ice cold, you’ll get shitty water pressure, and it smells like sulfur. You’re better off doing the best you can with hooker showers at the sinks and constant baby wipe usage.
Granted, you don’t have to get THAT dirty….but you get really dirty. That awesome tan that you thought you got at Bonnaroo washed off significantly after your first shower at home, didn’t it?!
14. JUST CALL THOSE GRANNIES CHRISTINA AGUILERA CAUSE THEY DON’T GIVE A FUCK AND THEY GONNA GET DIRTY
“Mama always said a little dirt never hurt nobody!”
16. 5. You’re never going to stop walking.
The walk to and from your campsite can be the worst. It’s noon, it’s hot as shit, you’ve nearly exhausted yourself just trying to get inside Centeroo to see some music.
But wait - the line to get in to Centeroo is 45 minutes long! AWESOME! Walking AND standing!
18. BONNAROO GRANNIES BEEN WALKING SINCE THE 1940’S THEY DON’T GIVE A FUCK
Bonnaroo brethren —- does it not look like these grannies are standing somewhere in General Camping? If they camped in one of the pods and didn’t do VIP or RV, then they deserve a fucking MEDAL.
19. The Bonnaroo universe has been buzzing about these amazing ladies
25. WHY DON’T THE GRANNIES GIVE A FUCK?
26. Because they sang Hey Jude with a field of 100,000 people.
27. Because they watched awesome fireworks during Live And Let Die.
0:38 seconds in was a moment, man.