1. The Wink
You look so thoughtful with your hand on your chin like that.
2. If You Got It, Flaunt It
If being good at arcade games is something you have going for you, go with it.
“Hey girl, come play some Pac-Man with me”
3. The Close-Up
You just took the arcade photoshoot to a whole ‘nother level, bro.
7. The Goatee
“Maybe facial hair will make me look less like Screech”
8. Fight Someone Smaller To Look Tough
One of the only celebrities scrawnier than Screech? Horseshack.
9. The Facial Hair + Unnecessary Glasses + Workout Photoshoot Combo
His facial hair kind of looks like A.J. from the Backstreet Boys.
12. Surround Yourself With Big-Breasted Women
When all else fails, divert attention.
14. I’m sorry, Dustin, but no matter how hard you try…
Did you know that in 2006, Dustin Diamond directed and released his own sex tape? It was called Screeched: Saved By The Smell.