10 Modern Gods That We All Totally Worship

Ancient societies worshiped Gods that controlled things like wind, fire, and death. Today we worship a different set of Gods…

1. The Bored Gods

Admit it, you’ve said at least once in your life “GOD I AM SO BORED”. We’ve all asked this deity to help give us at least a semblance of a social life.

2. The Internet Gods

This might be everyone’s favorite these days. From praying that your internet doesn’t go down while you’re trying to pick classes or get concert tickets to just asking internet explorer to just hurry the fuck up, we all asked this guy for multiple favors on a daily basis.

3. The Academic God

Even if you try really hard, sometimes you have to ask a higher power to help guide you through a test/paper/any sort of academic related endeavor. Even after school ends this God is still relevant. It’s called presentations at work.

4. The Sports God

If you are an athlete, a parent/spouse/brother/sister/related to in any way an athlete, or a superfan - you’ve prayed to this God. The phrase “c’mon…C’MON” is actually how this God gains power. The more you mutter it under your breath the more likely the athletic goals you wish to happen will come true.

5. The Porcelain Gods

This God may be the most important, although sometimes your body is so uncomfortable with having to go to the bathroom that you don’t have time to pray. Those cold sweats or the cross legged wiggle you do are actually you subliminally worshiping these Gods.

6. The Shopping Gods

Set the scene: You saw something online and want to get it that day, you pray that they have it when you walk into the actual store // You want that top really badly and pray that it doesn’t cost more then your rent // You saw something in the store and are kicking your ass that you didn’t get it yesterday so you go back and pray that it’s still there where you hid it // You catch my drift..

7. The Traffic Gods

Because traffic fucking sucks thats why. No explanation needed.

8. The Weather Gods

Because nobody wants it to rain on their prom night, or you really want it to snow so you don’t have to go to work tomorrow, or you really want it to be less humid out so you don’t look like Medusa at that family gathering.

9. The Gift Giving God

Because sometimes you’re unsure of what you got and pray to this God that you got it right. Nothing’s worse than giving the wrong size or watching someone fake appreciate something. Or worse, they already have it.

10. The Celebrity Gods

The “GOD ugh can’t they just be real humans? I want them under my Christmas tree, is that too hard to ask? I just want them. Please?”

11. No But Really

can I have you?


You’re NOT an angel?

13. I’m done.

She’s LITERALLY an angel.

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