1. You no longer read an article unless it’s in the form of a list.
2. Let’s rephrase that…you no longer read an article unless it’s in the form of a list with pictures.
It’s okay…reading is hard.
3. Your dream job is curator of Buzzfeed’s “cute” section.
You imagine the office will have a playpen full of puppies and kittens that keep you company during your lunch break.
4. There is no puppy or kitten video left unwatched on the internet.
Even though puppy and kitty videos remind your friends of you and you get why they want to post all of them on your facebook wall they should know you’ve already seen them. Every last one of them. Maru is old news to you.
5. You’ve considered buying a corgi just so you can dress him up and feature him on Buzzfeed.
Who doesn’t want a corgi they can dress up, though? It’s not just you, Buzzfeed addicts. It can’t be. You can’t help that corgis are so darn cute.
6. You have every Jennifer Lawrence interview memorized.
She’s just so funny, it’s not your fault you can’t get enough of her.
7. You can list 1750 reasons why she is the coolest celebrity.
But you can eat a whole pizza too! She’s like a normal human! She makes being awkward cool! You know…she could probably be your best friend.
8. Some people get their world news from The Guardian or Al Jazeera. You get yours from OMG and WTF?
And you’ll know way more about the economy if someone just headlines their articles “The dollar went down by .2 cents today AND YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT!”
9. You maintain friendships with all of your girls by posting Tina Fey/Amy Poehler articles on their facebook walls.
Girl, their friendship is just like our friendship. Except they see each other in person and I just post stuff on your wall because I’m too addicted to Buzzfeed to leave my house.
10. You tell yourself you are just going to read that one article that came up in your facebook newsfeed.
What’s the harm in reading one article? It’s just a list of 15 things. It will take 2 seconds.
11. 5 hours later you don’t understand how it’s 2 am and you’re still awake even though you have to get up at 6:30 for work.
HOW DID I STAY ON THIS WEBSITE FOR 5 CONSECUTIVE HOURS AND NOT LEARN ANYTHING OF IMPORTANCE? Omg look at that dog! That dog thinks he’s people!